The Passing of George McGovern

On Sunday morning, Oct. 21, 2012, George McGovern passed away. Here is a partial statement from his family:

"We are blessed to know that our father lived a long, successful and productive life advocating for the hungry, being a progressive voice for millions and fighting for peace. He continued giving speeches, writing and advising all the way up to and past his 90th birthday, which he celebrated this summer."

As noted in an earlier post, George McGovern was a hero in many ways to many people. He influenced  young people and gave them hope in a time of great conflict. He continued his fight for justice and peace. A good man.

The Veteran's Fish Fry

Every once in awhile, a short story will appear here. Fiction and made up characters that come from life experiences that we all share in one way or another. They will attempt to capture the stories that everyone has and that everyone is a part of as we travel around together.  JW

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He entered the restaurant first, followed by his wife, his son and daughter-in-law. He was an older gentleman and a veteran - early Vietnam or perhaps even Korea. His cap was emblazoned with the bright yellow letters of his outfit, with various pins and ribbons added, cocked to one side. His camouflage pants and shirt weren't military issue at this point but more like a Bass Pro hunting and fishing catalog version. His walker was spanking new and new fangled and he was obviously not endeared to the damn thing. It had brake handles, big wheels, a basket and was a shiny maroon. He surveyed the place and acted a bit confused. Things seemed different. His wife took charge and asked if he wanted to sit in the booth down at the end against the wall. He started to move toward a different booth but she prevailed by pulling the walker in the direction she wanted to go.

Getting to the booth was one thing, knocking and bumping people in chairs along the way. "You get in and he's going to take your walker", she said. "Well thanks buddy", he said as he leaned on the table of the man sitting by himself having a fish fry. "Not him", said the wife. "The waiter behind you." "Oh ok. Sorry bud."

He moved slowly into the booth and he seemed to be aware of the slight oder coming from his two bandaged legs. Things seemed different to him plus he was having a hard time hearing. Damned hearing things hadn't worked for months. The pretty, young waitress got everyone water and took drink orders and said she'd be back in a minute.

It became clear that this was a return to a familiar place after many years. "it's been at least three years since you were out for a fish fry. You want your usual?"

"Yea. I'll tell her. Where is she?"

The waitress was good but obviously a bit frazzled by the onslaught that seemed to all appear at once. She asked the old man what he wanted.

"You got chowder? The white kind?"

"Yes, we have New England Clam Chowder. Would you like a cup?"

"No, a bowl. A big bowl."

"Tell her about the fish fry", chimed in the wife. "Do you want the fries or a baked potato?"

"We only have fries ma'am."

The old man forged ahead not hearing any of the previous discussion. "I'll have the fish fry with mashed potatoes and gravy" he said confidently. "We don't have any mashed potatoes" said the waitress. "Well get some", said the old vet with a little laugh and a smile. "Fine, I'll have the fries with gravy". The waitress, becoming more flustered delivered the news that there was no gravy to be had. She thought she was going to be able to move on to others at the table but the old man's wife had more ideas for the love of her life. "Do you want a salad?", she asked. "Ma'am, a salad is extra. The fish fry comes with cole slaw, said the now impatient waitress.

Finally she was able to take all the orders and she scurried off to put them in and wait on two other full booths.

"When do you think all these things changed" asked the wife to no one in particular. The son looked around and said "I think there may be new owners. When were you and Dad in here last?"

"Oh it's been years. This is the first time he's been out of the house in two years. His legs just can't do the job any more and I can't get around much myself."

"Well I'm enjoyin' it", piped in the old man. And he did. He enjoyed the whole damn meal. He enjoyed the pretty young waitress and he enjoyed sitting next to Ma with his hand on her knee giving it a squeeze every time he winked at the waitress. All of it helped him forget the dreams that still haunted him. The visions and sounds of a war so far away.

As he left that night, feeling good, feeling happier then he had in a long time, he found the waitress. He tapped her on the arm and said softly and sincerely, "Thank you for your service". She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said, "You too Pops."

George McGovern - A Hero

George McGovern is seriously ill. His family reports that he is unresponsive and is receiving support through hospice. McGovern is a real hero. At a time when this country was being torn apart over the war in Vietnam, a leader, a politician emerged who understood war. He opposed that war and called for its end. McGovern volunteered in the US Army and became a bomber pilot in World War ll. He saw war for what it was - a horror. He was the son of a preacher and preached himself. He was deeply religious. He understood social issues and poverty. He saw what was happening in a divided country and tried to bring people together. His 1972 campaign for President excited young people who until then had felt put off by established politicians and political parties. He was unfairly attacked by Richard Nixon who ultimately defeated him in the presidential race. McGovern lost the election. Richard Nixon went on to be disgraced. George McGovern in his wisdom and grace said at one point, "there are worse things then losing". You deserve our thanks and wishes for peace.

Presidential Debates - Ugh!

Well here we are. Two down and one to go (debates that is). And what's the main focus of conversation? Who beat who, who was tougher and who could take the best punch. Some, not all, in the audience are craving the fight, looking for the knockout and seeing if enough damage and blood gets shed in the process. I found myself thinking some of the same things and getting caught up in the drama of the stalkers on stage. Kind of like a dog fight (illegal) or a cock fight (illegal) or maybe boxing (legal but dangerous). These examples by the way, are things we tend to be shocked about and act as though they are terrible.

But something really is out of whack and it does say something about the culture we live in around this entire globe. For all the talk about civility, good manners and anti bullying, here we are cheering on bullies and beating up someone who tries to be dignified and thoughtful. So the message to our candidates as well as our children and to each other is "go at it, stand up and be a man. Be as brutal as you can be" and so forth. Why is that, and why does the side that was getting beat up get talked into doing it back?

It's amazing to me that a standard of arrogance, bullying, disrespect, demagoguery and general bad manners is not only tolerated but encouraged in an election for President of the US. At the same time, these things seem to make partisans feel good. Pundits and talking heads have some major responsibility here but alas, it seems to be a part of the human condition to want this level of interaction. It seems to me that we should be disgusted with both camps at this point for both acting this way and responding to calls for more of the same.

Next week we will have a final debate, supposedly on foreign policy. In a world with so many difficult situations in countries looking for leadership and support, you would think a thoughtful policy debate would be in order. I fear not. Let's get ourselves and everyone else as whipped up as possible. Let's bully some more and call names, fan the flames and send a message of more mistrust. Won't that be helpful for the US and the world.

I hate being led down the path of "the lesser of two evils", but that seems to be where a lot of people are being led. I believe in debate and the sharing of ideas. I also happen to believe in civility and respect for the people you don't agree with. A real example of that kind of civility is the relationship and friendship that grew between Rep. John Lewis and former Rep. Amo Houghton, Jr who became Co-Chairs of the Faith and Politics Institute in Wash. D.C. Two men from different political parties and different backgrounds. One black, one white with completely different life experiences but both committed to civil discussions.

Having said all of this, Mitt Romney gives bosses, CEO's and business leaders a bad name. They are not all like him. Maybe people involved in takeovers or bankruptcies, but certainly not every business person. Treating people badly is not a class act at all and it says a lot about someone when it's done so easily.

I, like many others I'm sure, would also rather have President Obama spend some time talking about what he wants to get done and how he'll do it in a second term. It's an important discussion and some of us are waiting.

What we need now is for everybody to calm down. Stop with the sports analogies and listen to ideas.

If anything is really going to change, we have to stop cheering and begging for the fight and the knockout. I'm going to start by catching myself. One more to go and it should be an important discussion on policies not feather puffing.

I Am Malala!

Malala Yousufzai is a true hero for all of those who believe in justice, education and freedom. Her story is well known by now. This 14 year old woman from Pakistan has spent time speaking out about the right of young women and in essence all women in Pakistan to attend school and to be educated. She spoke eloquently about the right to read, go to school and to speak her mind. For that she was shot while being transported from school with other young people who were also wounded. She suffered a serious wound to the head. Malala was recently transported to the United Kingdom where she is being treated for her injuries.

How is it that a child, a beautiful child, can show such courage and leadership. All I know is that she can and has. While adults find it more and more difficult to simply talk to each other with civility and respect, while adults and children are physically and emotionally brutal to peers and other human beings, this young woman stands up peacefully for justice. She's a model for all of us. She joins the ranks of other great leaders for peace and justice.

It seems to me that we all need to speak up with Malala's strong voice. She and her ideas need support from everyone worldwide. In the words of an important folk song that I learned from Pete Seeger - "One man's hands can't tear a prison down. Two men's hands can't tear a prison down. But if two and two and fifty make a million, we'll see that day come round - We'll see that day come round."

People standing up in the hundreds, in the thousands and in the millions do bring about necessary and peaceful change. Today, I am Malala. Her spirit is growing every day and by the minute. Be well Malala.

Some Things Don't Make Sense

I've written here before about criticisms and scandals that have appeared about supports and services provided to people with developmental disabilities, both here in New York State and across the country. It's a subject that I care about since I worked in this field for 30 plus years and saw tremendous, mostly positive, changes in terms of supports to people with disabilities. But it goes deeper then working in this field. It really gets down to some of the most vulnerable people in a society and their place in that society. Social justice is critically important to everyone because it's very easy for us to be the next segment of society to be ignored, hated or treated unfairly. We don't think about it often enough but it is a reality that we should all face. Things happen, society changes, people change, circumstances change.

But right now, people with developmental disabilities are vulnerable and are treated differently - sometimes well and sometimes very poorly. We clearly still have attitudes about people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It's a little less acceptable for people to make a joke about these individuals but it's still acceptable.

Recently there was an article in the NY Times about a NYS Assemblyman suing an agency, the Nassau Chapter of NYSARC, for abuse that occurred to his son who resides in a residential setting that is operated by the agency. The story was also picked up by the Associated Press. I've linked both of the articles - New York Times and Associated Press - Star Gazette . I reference abuse having occurred because no one associated with the situation seems to be denying that other then the former employee in the story.

In the interest of full disclosure, I know a number of the administrative and leadership staff at the Nassau Chapter of NYSARC. They are good and decent people in my opinion, committed to doing the right thing for people and families. But the reality is there are hundreds of employees that work there who I don't know and that should be stated too. It's the reality of agencies like this as well as hospitals, nursing homes and other service providers. They are all large employers trying on a regular basis to hire  and train good people. Some bad apples almost always slip through. People who just aren't cut out for the difficult and caring work.

The bottom line though is that there is something very odd about the news story as reported that I just can't figure out. It seems as though a number of incidents of abuse occurred and were reported to the agency through appropriate channels. The family was notified, the accused employee suspended and an investigation commenced. The allegation was confirmed and the employee was terminated.

It turns out that the dismissed employee ended up being employed by another agency providing support to people with developmental disabilities. I would guess, and it is only a guess, that this agency never received any sort of recommendation from the Nassau Chapter of NYSARC. If they got anything it was probably a verification of dates of employment, a standard practice.

Now after the time period of this incident some additional protections were legislated in NYS. One created a registry of employees who had abuse substantiated. The other required law enforcement notification and action. The Governor also created a Justice Center for People with Special Needs. Interestingly, the Governor hasn't finalized, by his signature, the creation of the registry and the Justice Center. All of this begs the question - is this the real reason for the Assemblyman's law suit? Is he frustrated and angry with the Governor for not moving forward on these issues? To me, that seems to be the case and in the process an organization that it looks like is trying to do the right thing, ends up being sued. That's what's odd to me and what doesn't seem to add up or make sense.

All of this has been an education to me. It makes it clear that what is written and what's reported has to be considered carefully. It's hard to know what's in someone's head by the written word no matter how good or bad a writer or reporter is. Facts are sometimes blurred by other facts. It just seems there's more to this story that is hard to find in the reported versions.

We seem to be in a 'gotcha' environment that can easily run people in circles, good people and good organizations - all trying to do the right thing with the bumps and blemishes that come with life. In the end, we have to hope that the people supported are better off and able to flourish. It's a huge challenge.