Memories of Matt

I lost a great friend and colleague this past week, another victim of cancer at too young an age. I met Matt many years ago at a social gathering of peers, a hospitality suite after a business meeting where as usual, bad news ruled the day. I was new to the scene, young and feeling my way around the social network of this group, a bit uncomfortable. I grabbed a beer from the bathtub filled with bottles and ice. Next thing I know another young man who seemed to know everyone came up, shook my hand and pulled me into his conversation with two or three others. That was my introduction to Matt. He wanted to know everything about me. Where did I come from, what did I think, how was I doing? That's how it continued for 30 plus year's. "Hey Jimmy, how's it going, what are you up to, are you ok?" Always about you, never about him and always with a laugh. Matt really cared about other people and it always came through in those conversations. Welcoming and probing, making sure you were ok.

At some point I thought maybe he just did this with me but over the years I watched Matt. He was the same with everyone. Never self pretentious, always caring about what was going on with other people. If he saw someone alone in a corner, Matt would go over and engage the person and listen to what they had to say, with interest. There are those of us who are the opposite. You know the type, always turning the conversation around to them. Turning everything into their personal story. How different it was to encounter and engage with Matt. And if you let him know something or someone bothered you, his counsel was always wise - "Forget about it. Don't let it bother you."

He was a simple man.  He loved family, good company, laughter and all the things that go with it - food, drink and camaraderie. He also loved nature. He would hunt and fish on a moments notice. He loved to fix things. There are two schools of thought on his mechanical prowess. Those who think he could fix anything and those who thought he was all thumbs. I think Matt was a little bit of both. He'd mess up sometimes when fixing something, springs, nuts and bolts flying thru the air but in the end, and it could be hours later, he'd always win.

Although he was simple in terms of life's pleasures, he was smart, bright and complex in his vocation of providing support to people with disabilities. In my view, he never got the credit he deserved as a leader in the field of supporting people with developmental disabilities. He was an early mover and shaker. He wasn't afraid to speak up and challenge those in power but he always did it in the nicest way. Many times they didn't even know what happened to them when Matt was at his best, advocating for people, for families or for staff. He annoyed some people with his persistence but they never got his goat.

We all lose good friends when their mission here is done. We've all experienced the loss and it never gets any easier. The memories are what we have and it's wonderful if those memories are all good. In Matt's case that's what it is for me. All good memories. Always a smile, always a kind word or a joke, always engaging the other person, that's how I remember Matt. The last time I saw him, we talked about me, not him. Damn, he did it again. Peace brother.