Aging comes on some of us suddenly. Others may know it's coming for many years. I would guess we all have some different experiences based on lots of things - genes, physical and mental health, lifestyles and support systems.
Personally I feel my aging has hit me quite suddenly, although I'm sure if I look back, I might have seen it coming. My eyes just weren't that wide open and like everyone else, I had things to do, places to be and was just too damn busy to concentrate on the inevitable. This year I turned 72. That will sound young to some and very old to others. It's all relative and depends on your perspective. But yes I'm feeling my age, struggling with some health issues and coming to grips with the aging process.
A few days ago I was out and stopped for a bite to eat at lunch time. I watched a group of older gentleman and thought about their banter, actions and so forth. Some of my thoughts weren't that complimentary, laced with ageism and a high horse attitude about these old guys. At a certain point I realized that in reality, most of them were probably younger then me. That helped set some things straight in my mind.
Then the other day I walked past a mirror and caught a glimpse of someone I thought I knew. Was it my father? No, it couldn't be. He passed away when he was 85. Lets see that was about 20 years ago but I remember how he looked. Something like that fellow in the mirror. Or was it my brother. Looked a bit like him. He's going on 76 and it looked a bit like him. Same slouch and shuffle. But no, the reality hit. There I was, looking at myself and wondering when all that happened.
Some things with my health changed this year. I became very aware that I just can't do the same things that I used to in terms of physical activity. I certainly tire more easily and there is more shortness of breath upon exertion. Much of that is related to my Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder (COPD), emphysema and bronchitis, all caused and aggravated by years of smoking. But this year it has become a bit more noticeable and challenging and medications have their issues and side effects.
But not being able to do the things that you used to, does have an impact on your thinking and that's some of where I'm at. It really comes down to dealing with the reality of what you can and can't do.
But aging is bigger than all of that. It also has to do with remembering the great things you may have done along with the reminders and review of those things you either screwed up royally or that you just, plain and simple, didn't do. And yes, all of that is a very real part of aging. Identifying things done well and things left undone, at least until now. A serious review has to take place and undone things need to be attempted or at least resolved in some way. But, and this is the real problem, it all happens so quickly. It's the blink of an eye in the scheme of things, even though it may have been the past 20 or 30 years. So, in addition to becoming as comfortable as possible with inevitable physical changes, I know I have lots of things to do and I'm moving forward on those. I hope I do all of this gracefully and I hope I get a chance to ask for forgiveness where necessary and to congratulate and praise all those who deserve it. And one more thing - as I walk past that mirror every day, I'll try to remember to wink at that nice old man and give him a smile.
Friday, July 29, 2016
Computer Finally Forces Action
I nudged it along for too many months. Pushed it to its limits I guess. Added new software and operating system. Added RAM. I fought it on a daily basis. Spinning beach balls and lock ups or freezes. I pleaded, prayed and begged my little machine to keep going. Please don't put me through the pain of having to leave you, divorce you, find a home for you, smash you, etc., etc. It was all in vain and I finally drove to the store, bought a newer model and have spent time finding and migrating files. Actually, it's been easier then I thought it would be but it was still stressful. Some of that stress continues as I wait for the 'potential' disaster that I fear. I may escape it but who knows?
So maybe I'll be writing a bit more but no promises. We'll see. There certainly is no shortage of topics - conventions, candidates, droughts, peacemakers, social justice, killing, guns and violence. But for now I'm learning some new things and the workings of a new computer. Hope it lasts.
So maybe I'll be writing a bit more but no promises. We'll see. There certainly is no shortage of topics - conventions, candidates, droughts, peacemakers, social justice, killing, guns and violence. But for now I'm learning some new things and the workings of a new computer. Hope it lasts.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
John Lewis, An American Hero, Inspires Again!
The last time I watched John Lewis lead a historic demonstration was in March of 1965. I headed for a plane and went to Selma, Al to follow him and other great leaders of the civil rights movement. It looks like maybe a trip to Washington D.C. is in the cards.
Lewis is currently in a leadership role in the sit-in that has occurred in the US House of Representatives, an extraordinary and unheard of action. The Democrats in the House are demanding votes on a number of bills related to gun issues in the US. Lewis has, as usual, been eloquent in his explanation of the action. He reminds us that we "need to be headlights, not taillights" in efforts toward change. He also encourages us all "not to give in and not to give up or give out". As in many of his communications to students and activists throughout the years, John Lewis reminded us last night and today about the need sometimes to "get in the way, make noise, to get into trouble - good trouble" to bring about necessary change.
Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, has pulled out a response reminiscent of the authorities in Selma 50+ years ago. He is saying, and he has instructed his followers to say, that this is nothing but a publicity stunt. Your damn right Mr. Speaker and an effective one to boot. That's the whole point of moral, non violent demonstrations - to shine a light on stupidity and injustice, to educate the public as well as the opposition that a position is morally flawed. Yes, just as the mayor and police chief in Selma said,"this is just a publicity stunt". The only thing he can't say is that it's being done by a bunch of outside agitators.
A friend sent me a note this morning and pointed out that we had both lived to see a sit-in in the House. "What else is possible?" he asked. Plenty I'm sure, especially with people like John Lewis still around and young people hearing his message. This is why it's important to keep telling the stories of Dorothy Day and Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King, Jr and Dan & Phil Berrigan.
How the violence and gun issue is resolved may be a question and people may differ on solutions but publicity stunts are better then massacres. Hopefully John Lewis will inspire more and more people to join, to take action, to get into trouble - good trouble. Peace John and keep it up!
Lewis is currently in a leadership role in the sit-in that has occurred in the US House of Representatives, an extraordinary and unheard of action. The Democrats in the House are demanding votes on a number of bills related to gun issues in the US. Lewis has, as usual, been eloquent in his explanation of the action. He reminds us that we "need to be headlights, not taillights" in efforts toward change. He also encourages us all "not to give in and not to give up or give out". As in many of his communications to students and activists throughout the years, John Lewis reminded us last night and today about the need sometimes to "get in the way, make noise, to get into trouble - good trouble" to bring about necessary change.
Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, has pulled out a response reminiscent of the authorities in Selma 50+ years ago. He is saying, and he has instructed his followers to say, that this is nothing but a publicity stunt. Your damn right Mr. Speaker and an effective one to boot. That's the whole point of moral, non violent demonstrations - to shine a light on stupidity and injustice, to educate the public as well as the opposition that a position is morally flawed. Yes, just as the mayor and police chief in Selma said,"this is just a publicity stunt". The only thing he can't say is that it's being done by a bunch of outside agitators.
A friend sent me a note this morning and pointed out that we had both lived to see a sit-in in the House. "What else is possible?" he asked. Plenty I'm sure, especially with people like John Lewis still around and young people hearing his message. This is why it's important to keep telling the stories of Dorothy Day and Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King, Jr and Dan & Phil Berrigan.
How the violence and gun issue is resolved may be a question and people may differ on solutions but publicity stunts are better then massacres. Hopefully John Lewis will inspire more and more people to join, to take action, to get into trouble - good trouble. Peace John and keep it up!
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Does It Really Matter Where Hate Comes From?
The mass shooting in Orlando has brought a sharp focus to hate. There is plenty to go around. Sadly, there are those who are already using the tragedy to stoke even more hatred. The LGBTQ community is no stranger to experiencing hate. The Muslim community has also experienced hate. And there are so many, too many others who know what hate is all about.
Looking at the pictures of the victims in Orlando is difficult. These were vibrant young people with so much of life in front of them and so much they could have offered. Gone in an instant for some and agonizing minutes turned into hours for others. All a product of hate.
Does it really matter if the hate comes from ISIS, homophobia, mental illness, political or religious motives? Does it matter if hate comes from the right, the left or the middle? Does it matter if hate is home grown or internationally bred? Does it matter who hate kills - children, Jews, Muslims, people of color? Hate is pretty pervasive, towards individuals and groups. It is stoked and encouraged and it's coming from all directions.
To me it doesn't matter where it comes from. There are too many hate villains. It really comes down to what do we (I) do about it or how do we (I) respond to it? I certainly think we need to call it out when it happens. I also think we need to work at non confrontational, non violent responses to it. As we've seen in this presidential election cycle, disruption and yelling at opponents is being used as a tactic more and more. The result ends up being more people yelling at each other and the potential for more, not less violence. But hate speech does need a response and the more direct, the better.
I will write about it, talk about it, engage people in discussions and stand against it wherever and whenever possible. Where it comes from matters less then what we do about it.
Looking at the pictures of the victims in Orlando is difficult. These were vibrant young people with so much of life in front of them and so much they could have offered. Gone in an instant for some and agonizing minutes turned into hours for others. All a product of hate.
Does it really matter if the hate comes from ISIS, homophobia, mental illness, political or religious motives? Does it matter if hate comes from the right, the left or the middle? Does it matter if hate is home grown or internationally bred? Does it matter who hate kills - children, Jews, Muslims, people of color? Hate is pretty pervasive, towards individuals and groups. It is stoked and encouraged and it's coming from all directions.
To me it doesn't matter where it comes from. There are too many hate villains. It really comes down to what do we (I) do about it or how do we (I) respond to it? I certainly think we need to call it out when it happens. I also think we need to work at non confrontational, non violent responses to it. As we've seen in this presidential election cycle, disruption and yelling at opponents is being used as a tactic more and more. The result ends up being more people yelling at each other and the potential for more, not less violence. But hate speech does need a response and the more direct, the better.
I will write about it, talk about it, engage people in discussions and stand against it wherever and whenever possible. Where it comes from matters less then what we do about it.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Mental Health Screening For Presidential Candidates
I wonder if we've reached the point where mental health screening of presidential candidates is in order and necessary? I mean think about it. We screen and check people for all sorts of occupations. Usually because we're concerned about the protection of vulnerable people - our kids and grandchildren for example or perhaps people with disabilities or the elderly.
Well, here we are in the process of giving a person a job where they will be responsible for the young, the old, people with disabilities, and by the way, all of us. Responsible to the point of our survival. Seems like a pretty big deal.
So what kind of screening do we have in place to make sure we aren't electing someone who shouldn't have access to nuclear weapon codes? Hmm? Maybe there are previous occupants of the White House who wouldn't pass the muster? Lots to think about.
Well, here we are in the process of giving a person a job where they will be responsible for the young, the old, people with disabilities, and by the way, all of us. Responsible to the point of our survival. Seems like a pretty big deal.
So what kind of screening do we have in place to make sure we aren't electing someone who shouldn't have access to nuclear weapon codes? Hmm? Maybe there are previous occupants of the White House who wouldn't pass the muster? Lots to think about.
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