Understanding Hate!

Both the shooting in Aurora, Colorado and the recent attack on worshippers at a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin have me wondering and struggling with the issue of hate and its relationship to violence. I think it's pretty obvious that guns are out of control in this country but the bigger issue is that of hate, hate mongering, hate crimes and their relationship to violence.

What is it in our make up and/or backgrounds that allow us to use hateful language in conversations and sad attempts at humor? What is it that allows a seemingly nice, gentle person to make a wisecrack about another person or a group of people who are different due to race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, size, age, etc.? We've all seen it and if we're honest, have probably participated on some level. Why?

People make excuses - "That's just Joe.", "It's the alcohol talking.", "She's young." - but the fact is we all participate at some level and when we do, those around us watch and learn. Yup, we're all teachers when it comes to the acceptance of making fun of people or speaking nonsense about groups of people.

But there are bigger issues. Like why do people really think racist or discriminatory comments are funny? What streak of meanness in all of us is satisfied by hateful comments? What is it in our backgrounds or growing up that makes any of this acceptable?

I'm truly at a loss. I do know though that societies all over the world have the same issues and we don't spend enough time trying to figure it out. Or we take the easy way out and chalk it off to adolescence, alcohol, stupidity and so forth.

Although I continue to struggle with understanding where this all comes from, I've concluded that as many people as possible have to begin or continue to speak out against hate when they see it. Walking away from a group or a conversation, speaking up, or speaking to people privately about our discomfort and nonacceptance are all ways to witness against hateful language. It also helps when families, teachers and leaders have conversations about hate and hate speech and hate humor. It has to start and stop somewhere.