Words and Insults

Warning - I'm going to use some words here that I know are offensive to some people. I assure you though that they are used in the spirit of learning and teaching and with no malice.

Just the other day, an important labor leader in New York State used some words to insult and call out Governor Andrew Cuomo. The words were tough, insulting, a bit juvenile and disrespectful. Not to the Governor. He's a big boy and I'm sure these words like lots of others that have been tossed around at him and about him, rolled off pretty easily. First the words, a "monkey" and a "moron". An interesting use of terms by an intellegent person in an important leadership position. Here's an article describing the event and the language: Albany Times Union Article

The people who were insulted and disrespected were the many thousands of people who have intellectual and other developmental disabilities. These individuals have been fighting for many years to get people to stop using offensive language like "retard" and "mental retardation". Their reasoning? These words really hurt when they are directed at you, especially when you had nothing to do with your disability or there's not much you can do about it. As stated above, I'm using the word "retard" and "moron" to make a point. I could refer to the r-word or the m-word but some people wouldn't get it.

Now there are always those who say this is just political correctness. "Yup, another group of people that doesn't want to be offended." If that's your view, so be it. I probably won't change it. But for those of you who are trying to understand, it's really quite simple. There are words that have evolved in our society to the point where they become slang and sometimes people forget or don't think about their true meaning. Take a minute to look up either of these words. You'll find that they are identified immediately as offensive. But here's a different test. Look someone you know in your community who has an intellectual or developmental disability in the eye and call them a "retard" or a "moron". Please don't, but think about it. Think about the reaction you would get from them or the people around them. This is hurtful language and is meant to offend.

I've heard people say in a truly wondering way, "Well what should I call them?" My response is always the same. Let's start with a name or a person with a disability. Build a relationship. Get to know an individual and you'll know what to call him or her.

But there's something more basic about the comments that were made by the labor leader. This person is representing people who support people with developmental disabilities throughout New York State and he's using insulting language about the people supported. Why? Because he's mad at the Governor. Because it makes him feel good to call him names. Because he's trying to get his people worked up. But calling names and trying to be as insulting as possible doesn't solve the problem. Talking to people, building coalitions around common themes and issues, figuring out how to speak for more people then your basic membership are all things that could help in the long run. Get on board with understanding that institutional care is not something people want or need. Walk arm in arm with the people supported by these services. Walk arm in arm with the non profits who are hurting more and more everyday because of cuts. Step up in anyway you can, but don't fall into the old trap of using insulting and hurtful language.

The Grimm Reaper

Congressman Michael Grimm from NY looks like he could use a little anger management as well as some anti bullying training. If you're not aware, after the State of the Union address on Jan. 28th, Grimm was being interviewed by a NY1 reporter. After Grimm's comments about the speech the reporter tried to get him to comment about allegations concerning his campaign and some ethics issues that have been raised recently. Grimm left but then came back after the reporter was done and basically threatened to throw him off the balcony and alternately break him in half like a boy. All of this while the camera is still going.

We all can get frustrated and angry but most people at least try to keep that anger under control especially with a reporter whose camera is still running. Not Congressman Grimm. He takes on an obviously smaller individual and physically threatens him using belligernt and bleep-able  language.

On top of it all, this guy is a lawmaker. Someone who passes laws that all of the rest of us need to follow. Like, let's say anti bullying legislation and laws about assault and threats of bodily harm. It's also interesting that Grimm is always identified as an ex marine and former FBI agent. These things are true but somehow this builds on the image of a rough and tumble guy ready to fight his way out of the swamp or making highly physical arrests of bad guys, all with guns I'm sure.

It's hard and somewhat unbelievable to watch this Congressman aggressively approach the newsman who doesn't have the chance to turn off his own camera that he most likely set up for the interview. Grimm comes in hard, not loud and lets the reporter know in no uncertain terms that he'll physically deal with him if there's ever a next time. Some of his words don't even make sense. He talks about breaking the reporter in half like a boy. What the hell is that supposed to mean? That little boys are easy to break in half? Or is it some reference to how little boys get broken in half? Sounds like a high school bully talking to a middle schooler. Sounds a bit weird also.

We sometimes wonder out loud why we have the problems that we do with violence and bullying. Well the service Congressman Grimm provides is to crystalize the issue for us. What should we expect when a Congressman thinks it's acceptable to physically threaten someone he doesn't agree with or someone who annoys him. Our role models - Congressman, sports figures, teachers and on and on, can all be found doing some pretty weird things and there should be consequences. Elections, hiring decisions, legal actions are all things that can be part of those consequences. The reality though is that in Grimm's mind, his actions were acceptable. He has since apologized and the reporter has accepted his apology. I think his apology has more to do with seeing himself caught in a compromising position then any real concern about his actions. He should really think this one through. I hope he calms down a bit. Life is too short.

And here is some additional information from POLITICO click here. If true, much worse then I thought.

Thank You Pete Seeger

Lots of us need to thank Pete Seeger for what he showed us and taught us over the years. Pete passed away last night, peacefully in his sleep. Ten days ago, according to his grandson, he was chopping wood for the fire in his cabin home in Beacon, NY, as he did for many years.

Pete Seeger taught us the importance of song and participation. He had a passion for song, music and making sure everyone was part of the expierience. But on top of all of that he believed in things. He believed in peace, the protection of the environment, justice for all, racial eguality and had fun doing it. He was banned, blacklisted and shunned. He was handcuffed, arrested and jailed for singing and protesting. He brought people together through song and showed people how to participate. Sometimes we were embarresed or shy about our voices or what we thought was our lack of musical talent but Pete Seeger made sure we all sounded good.

Singing This Land is Your Land or We Shall Overcome with Pete Seeger was often a life changing expierience. Thousands had that expierience and won't forget it.

Many years ago I was working at the Catholic Worker in NYC. I fancied myself a folk singer, protest singer, etc. I had written a few songs and sang many of the old ones in the tradition of Seeger, Woody Gutherie, The Weavers and others. One day Pete Seeger was on the phone talking to someone and they told him there was a young fella there who had an interesting anti war song. Next thing I knew I was on the phone with Pete Seeger and he wanted to hear the song my friend had told him about. So there I was, trying to sing my song with no guitar to a legend. He was kind. Said I had something there and should keep singing.

I also found out about thirty years later that a high school classmate of mine, Bob Killian, worked and sang with Pete Seeger on The Clearwater, the sailing ship that he used to promote clean water, particularly on the Hudson River. Bob went on to get involved with an educational sailing and environmental program in Florida.

I'm sure there are hundreds and thousands of stories of how Pete Seeger connected and influenced people throughout the world. His mantra was participation. Everybody sounded good to Pete. They really did. He just loved to hear another voice. One more thing he did. He took the time every Christmas to send cards of encouragement to prisoners of conscience. I was lucky enough to hear from him a couple of times.

So I just want to add my thanks to Pete Seeger for what he offered all of us. A chance to sing, participate and bring about change along with gleeful encouragement. Rest in peace Pete.

Sexual Assault - Needed Attention

Today President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden spoke to the issue of sexual assault. One of the statistics that they presented was that 1 in 5 women identify that they were sexually assaulted in college. The President challenged college Presidents to step up and identify what they are doing relative to sexual assaults. What systems and reporting mechanisms do they have in place to support people who may be victems of sexual assault? What are they doing to prevent sexual assault on their campus? The challenge was also given to men and a culture that has allowed these assaults without anyone speaking up. It was also noted that women themselves need to support each other in standing up to these issues and speaking up when necessary. The President signed an administrative memo creating a group to come up with additional recommendations to deal with the issue within 90 days.

All of this caught my attention because just yesterday Governor Andrew Cuomo in his budget presentation, spoke to the issue of sexual harassment (assault in some cases) as a growing and continuing problem in the NYS Legislature. That's right, elected officials and staff members in the NYS Legislature, involved in more and more instances of sexual harassment, to the point where Cuomo is trying to get ethics legislation with some teeth in it to deal with these issues. And guess what? The leadership is balking, dragging their feet as it were. The Governor is proposing a hotline for people to report issues with legislators or legislative staff. Imagine. Within the past week a western NY Assemblyman resigned due to continuing allegations about his behavior in this area. He's denying any guilt but he's gone. He's just the latest.

So, the President is on the right track and should be commended but as he discusses college presidents and students, elected officials are being called out in NY. Obviously the issue is a big one and everyone has a responsibility to report, stop and support. It will be interesting to see where both initiatives go.

Honoring The Dream and The Dreamer

Today, January 15, 2014, marks the actual birthday of that great dreamer, activist and prophet Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. King would have been 85 today if he had survived the assassin's bullet as well as all of the other things that await all of us as we go through life. Dr. King spoke of his dream and many of us listened. He laid it out clearly for all of us and by doing so helped us understand what we needed to do. He also showed the way and walked the talk along with his many colleagues, men and women, black, white and more.

Along the way he was blocked and insulted. He was called everything from communist to outside agitator and much worse. He and his family were threatened, blackmailed by his government and forced many times to live in fear. Through all of this he taught how to respond with respect and honor. He taught how this type of hatred had to be confronted. He taught basic values that we should all understand.

So we honor him and his dream in various ways - service projects, writing, getting involved in social issues, working for political change or possibly just spending some quality time thinking about who he was and what he did. All good things and all things we should promote and support.

We will get another chance next Monday, January 20th, as the country celebrates a national holiday in his honor. So take a little time and do it in whatever way you're comfortable with tonight or next Monday. Honor the dream and the dreamer. Better yet, become a dreamer.