A Culture of Silence

This past week we have all seen the reports on Penn State. It strikes me that the culture of silence at that institution was worse then most. I do think however that it has forced lots of people to think about their own institutions - any workplace, schools, hospitals, social service organizations, non profits and community groups. It even applies and reaches to informal and formal communities of friends, colleagues and families. Beyond the outrage, I think lots of people are stepping back and thinking about the whys and wherefores and ultimately, could it happen here or more personally, what would I have done? That is obviously a good and important reflection but the real question is what makes it possible for no one to do the right thing? We could go on for hours I suppose discussing a definition of "the right thing" but lets accept something basic like intervening and reporting criminal behavior.

We're not talking about shades of grey here. These issues are pretty black and white issues. Right? An individual or individuals witnessing an adult having sex with a child. I believe that most people understand what kind of response they would have and what actions they would take. Then I think of those studies and shows that you sometimes see where people turn up the dial to inflict pain or walk by an incident of obvious brutality.

I've tried hard to search my own past memories of some pretty brutal things that I've seen and I can remember a situation many years ago where I witnessed someone being abusive to someone else, a vulnerable person, and I didn't do anything but get angry. As I reflect on that instance, my excuse is that I didn't have any authority and I didn't really understand the system. In addition, and this is critical, I thought somehow it was acceptable. Let me be clear about the situation. In the late 70's I was visiting an institution for people with developmental disabilities that was being closed by the state. The employees felt very threatened relative to their jobs being lost. As I was toured through the facility, seeing and meeting individuals who were being considered for placement in community settings, we came across an employee giving a haircut to a profoundly disabled man. The employee knew why I was there. At a certain moment, he grabbed the individual by the hair and pulled back his head with great force and said "here, you want him? You can have him" or words to that effect. I didn't say "stop your crap". I didn't ask the 'official' with me to do something. That same day and on that same tour I was shown an adult male in a shower stall, on the floor with a restraint around his leg being "showered" with a hand held shower unit. Hosed down was more like it. This was acceptable? It shouldn't have been - but it was.

Now I have to say I was outraged and these instances made me commit to make sure supports and services were developed for these individuals and that they ultimately were placed in community settings. But I didn't call the police and there was no need to report it to an administrator since someone in authority was leading the tour. As my mind has unraveled these memories I know there are other instances both as a child and as a young adult where things happened that I should have done more to stop. We all need to be honest about these instances where we've witnessed bullying or physical confrontations that crossed a line. They impacted us and helped make us who we are.

These are not excuses for what happened at Penn State. People should have spoken up and most of us know that. But I would guess that there are lots of situations where people may feel inadequate about their past responses to bad and questionable behavior. We have to reflect on this. We can't accept cultures of silence and we can't accept excuses.