Well, One Big Completed Project

Yes, with the publication of my book, Choosing the Hard Path: A Personal History and Memoir, that's one heck of a completed project. Anyone who tells you that writing and publishing is an easy task is most likely pulling your leg. It's complicated and takes a lot. Now the route I took was what's known as 'self-publishing' and there are all sorts of products out there to help guide you through the process.

I was lucky, extremely lucky, because my brother in law was able to introduce me to a publisher who would help me through the process of 'self publishing'. I guess in effect I had a hybrid process in that respect. Frankly I was in no shape, between health and age, to learn a whole new set of skills dealing with layout and uploading to an end publisher like Apple or Amazon.

My publisher ended up being a company near Lake Placid, NY run by Beth Rowland. High Peaks Publishing is their name and Beth's husband Tim is part of the team that brings everything to fruition. They've got a cracker jack designer and layout person, Ryan Harpster at Silverback Designs, who throws himself into all their projects. So, High Peaks takes the author's work, edits it, makes recommendations on order, placement, design and everything else you can think of, including hand holding. The whole process is like being on the publisher's team, or them being on your team. Either way, it doesn't matter.

They upload it to whatever platform you go with and...voila, you just got published. I really can't say enough about Beth, Tim and Ryan. I never could have done this without them. For an author who has no real history, reputation or experience, this is a great way to go.

So now it's over, that project at least and I really do feel a sense of relief and accomplishment. I've had some things I've wanted to say for decades that finally got out on the table and it feels good.

Buy now from Amazon.com

Choosing the Hard Path

Choosing the Hard Path, A Personal History and Memoir, my book, is published. It isn't just a story, it's a series of stories, one right after the other. It's the story of a young family in New Jersey looking for a better life, one different than the previous generation of immigrants and working class folks who had to fight for every inch of recognition and success. 

It's the story of those immigrants and early Americans from places like Ireland, Scotland and Germany. They were butchers and farmers, seamstresses, and bakers, working and living hard in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York and Michigan. 

It's the story of the 60s where change was coming at high speed. Where parents scratched their heads at new music, new fashion and new ideas. The cars were faster and sleeker. Polaroid cameras gave people what they considered near instant pictures and tape recorders and high fidelity record players were things every one wanted.

It's the story of the civil rights movement. White liberals and religious groups got involved in things like Freedom Summer, Selma and Freedom Rides.

It's the story of a young man looking for his place, his vocation, his calling and all of the people he met.

Along the way and woven through these stories, one gets a sense of conflicts and choices needing to be made by lots of people, lots of players. Families struggled to understand each other. Political movements and leaders learned about and utilized new tactics to bring about change.

John Lewis, Dorothy Day, Dan and Phil Berrigan are a few of the people you'll meet but there are so many more.

Writing this book has been exciting for me. There are people who needed to be written about and that has been a joy. There are records and stories that needed to be set straight or clarified. I hope it offers something to historians and inquiring minds. Perhaps to people who are faced with their own hard paths and choices.

So, go to Amazon.com, books and search for Choosing the Hard Path: A Personal History and Memoir by Jim Wilson. The book is $16.95 + shipping and handling. Enjoy!

 

Coming Soon - A Book About The 60's, Civil Rights, Vietnam and Family

Well folks, it's almost ready. Choosing the Hard Path, A Personal History and Memoir, by Jim Wilson. Yes, I've been working on this project for a long time, a lifetime I guess. It's near completion and will be available to purchase within the next month. Final proofing, design work and cover art are all taking place now.

Choosing the Hard Path, tells the story of a young man growing up in times influenced by Elvis Presley, the Kennedys, formica counter tops, Vatican ll, Martin Luther King, Jr along with shifting values and economics. Come along for the ride. Learn about growing up in that era and join in as a young man goes off to a Catholic seminary, college and protests.

You'll be surprised by some of the facts and some of the players. In the end though, you'll learn about experiences and choices that kept leading to more choices.

Final details will be posted here so watch for information and notices.

Remembering Roger Laporte - Nov. 9, 2021

In the early morning hours of Nov. 9, 1965, a young man named Roger Allen LaPorte completed his trip to the UN carrying a container of gasoline. He sat down on the pavement, poured the gasoline over his body and ignited himself in flames. This self immolation was Roger's protest against the war in Vietnam. Roger was taken to Bellevue Hospital with burns over most of his body. He identified himself as a Catholic Worker and indicated that he was against war, all war and that he did this as a religious act.

Roger was 22 years old, a former seminarian and someone who volunteered at the Catholic Worker's House of Hospitality close to the Bowery in NYC. I knew Roger and worked with him. I was 21 and was in the middle of my own protest against the war. There were many other people who knew and worked with Roger. We were living in a somewhat surreal time. We worked with the poor and the marginalized. We cooked soup, gave out clothes to those who needed them. We sat up at night singing songs, drinking beer and arguing with each other about war, peace and our actions and reactions to the politics of the time. The times were intense. People were making decisions about their lives and about their futures.

Roger was quiet and thoughtful. He watched what was happening around him. A week earlier, another man, a Quaker named Norman Morrison, had set himself aflame in front of the Pentagon and the office of the Secretary of Defense.

A few days before Roger's action he had attended a draft card burning demonstration at Union Square. He stood in the crowd and listened to hecklers telling the young men on the platform to burn themselves, not their draft cards.

Roger made a choice. He didn't tell any of us about his plan. He went to the UN early, before people would see him and intervene. He sat down and acted.

Roger died the next morning. There are those who spent and continue to spend time analyzing Roger's action. Was it this or was it that? It was what it was, a young man seriously frustrated and angry about a war that seemed to have no end.

Roger was a good young man and he should be remembered as such. That's the way I remember Roger LaPorte fifty-six years after his death - a good young man. I hope memories of him are never lost.

What Did We Learn this Week - 10/16/21?

Well I'm a bit behind schedule this week. My internet service has been down for a bit. This morning I and many other New Yorkers in the Finger Lakes were awakened by a Tornado Warning instructing everyone to take shelter immediately. It was at that point that I realized I really don't have any central rooms other than a hallway and I'm tethered to a heavy oxygen concentrator that would probably wrap plastic tubing around my neck as we (the machine and I) flew out across Seneca Lake. That said, I got myself disoriented for a bit but everything is back to normal if there is such a thing in 2021. So, down to business. What did we learn this week?

We learned Steve Bannon has no respect for Congress or the rule of law. We also learned that Democrats in Congress can't get out of their own way when it comes to communicating and acting on holding people accountable. They talked for two weeks about how tough and swift they would be and now we find out that tough and swift isn't really something they know how to be.

We learned some related things about the Democrats. Their base is far ahead of their leadership on many issues. After months and months of time to put a plan together, it turns out there is no real plan on getting voting rights passed. Voting rights, the most basic rights of a democracy will have a test vote next week. This while states are passing more and more restrictive laws on voting. Perhaps they will learn that when marchers in a parade or demonstration overtake the leaders, new leaders appear. More and more it looks like that time has come.

We learned that the Moderna and J&J vaccines will be approved for a booster shot within the next week or so.

We learned about the supply chain this week, something we probably should have known about for some time. We also learned that ports in California will start operating 24/7. Interesting because many people thought they were alreadyoperating 24/7 for years. Some are saying Christmas and the holidays will be ruined but let's be clear, Christmas will be fine. Perhaps a little less materialistic. Wonderful!

We also learned that the tractors that pull those trailers full of goods that we're all dying for, get about 6 to 7 miles per gallon of diesel fuel, that we had a truck driver shortage before the pandemic, that DMV office closings caused problems related to new drivers getting CDL licenses. Too bad all of those railroad tracks were pulled up and removed.

We learned that the media just can't get enough of Donald Trump. They know it and he knows it. He doesn't need Twitter or Facebook. He just says something outrageous and every news outlet has a story on it. Free advertising and promotion and then they'll act shocked and outraged when he does so well in some poll somewhere.

We learned that Jeff Bezos and William Schatner are two peas in a pod. Two marketers who pretend for the cameras. Their sincerity and emotions are pretty phony if you ask me. It looked to me like weightlessness didn't seem to kick in for Shatner. I just wish that a guy who can afford all of these space shots could pay his fair share of taxes.

We learned, not just this week but over time,  that the conservative GOP that exists today is unbridled and power hungry. The people who make it up are interested in controlling abortions, creating voting barriers, gerrymandering. controlling academics and banning books. These are all part of goals that have been worked on and planned over a long period of time. What we see happening in Texas is an example of white power and the desire to control what happens when people of color take the majority. This game plan is exactly what we saw in South Africa. We should not turn our heads or avert our eyes to any of this. We should speak out wherever and whenever we can.

What Did We Learn The Week of 10/9/21?

There's always a lot to lear and here's some of what we learned this week.

We learned that a new study estimates that 140,000 children have experienced the death of a primary caregiver due to Covid or other causes in excess of what occurs in a typical year.

We learned that Elon Musk will move his Tesla headquarters from California to Texas.

We learned that Louis DeJoy is still in charge of the Postal Service and that he is successfully slowing down the mail.

We learned that Joe Biden will not support the use of Executive Privilege for former President Trump's documents related to the events of January 6th.

We learned that Steve Bannon will defy a subpoena  related to Jan. 6th planning, following directions from Donald Trump.

 
We learned that Trump directly asked the Justice Department nine times to undermine the election results.

We learned that the US Mint will recognize the achievements of poet Maya Angelou; astronaut Sally Ride; actress Anna May Wong; suffragist and politician Nina Otero-Warren; and Wilma Mankiller, the first female principal chief of the Cherokee Nation on new quarters to be issued in 2022 through 2025.

We Learned that Pope Francis found an ally in anti-poverty crusader Rev. Dr. William Barber at a conference on ending poverty held in Rome this past week. "Systemic poverty is not the cumulative result of individual failures. People in power have made choices and written those choices into tax policy, war policy, and government budgets," Rev. Dr. Barber said at the conference. Please listen Joe Manchin and many others.

We learned a lot about Facebook this past Sunday when a former Facebook data scientist went on "60 Minutes" to accuse the company of defrauding its advertising customers and deliberately engineering social division and ethnic strife. Then on Monday, the entire Facebook product family went offline for six hours: Instagram, WhatsApp and of course Facebook itself. Later on in the week, the same whistleblower testified before Congress about Facebook's algorithms and how they influence all of us but children specifically.

We learned that Journalists Maria Ressa of the Philippines and Dmitri A. Muratov of Russia were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to safeguard freedom of expression something necessary for ongoing peace throughout the world.

We learned that Mitch McConnell blinks on the debt ceiling but that Manchin, Sinima, Schumer and Biden just can't stop themselves from messing up Biden's Build Back Better agenda. Their failure will most likely result in failures in the midterms.

We Learned that children as young as eight may have Covid vaccine availability by the end of October.

What Did We Learn -The Week of 10/2/21?

So what did we learn this past week, around the world and from sea to shining sea? Here are a few things.

We learned the grim fact that 700,000 people have died of Covid-19 in the US. Imagine, 700,000 lives that we most likely didn't have to lose. And we're on track to continue losing lives as many refuse to get vaccinated.

We learned that a jury found R. Kelly guilty on all counts of his sex trafficking case in New York. He faces 100 years in prison.

We learned that Joe Manchin doesn't trust poor people, or at least people who are poorer than him, which includes a lot of us. He hates entitlements. Thinks they make people lazy and soft. He wants to see things means tested. We also learned he's one of the most entitled people in his home state of West Virginia where his constituents struggle with poverty, hunger, medical care, broadband, drug use, and jobs. 

We learned that what the media has been calling Joe Manchin's 'houseboat' on the Potomac is actually a $700,000 yacht (although he paid $200,000 for it, it is insured and valued at $700,000). Oh yes, he hates entitlements.

We learned that vaccine mandates seem to work. Yes some people quit their jobs in various places but as they learned, that's their choice. Employers, healthcare facilities and consumers will all be better off knowing that people providing services are safe.

We learned that California will require vaccines for all eligible children.

We learned that more subpoenas went out related to the Jan. 6th insurrection. This time to people involved in the organizing and planning of the 'Stop the Steal' event.

We learned that progressives in Congress have figured out how to hold strong on issues that are important to them and their constituents.

We learned that no one seems to know what Republicans are in favor of - not the right to vote, not paying our debts, not creating jobs, etc.

We learned that more and more Republicans are switching their name calling of Democrats from socialists to Marxists because they've worn out the socialist critique. Nazis and Marxists are the new attacks.

We learned through a hack of the Oathkeepers data base that over 200 law enforcement officials, currently employed or retired, have links to the organization and involvement in the Jan. 6 insurrection.

We learned that conservatorships like any other law or system can be abused and that Brittany Spears' father is no longer in control of her conservatorship.

We learned that we should all give our heating systems a test drive before temperatures dive quickly.

Positively Chrystie Street

Positively Chrystie Street is a chapter from my memoir and autobiography that will be published in 2022. The chapter was published as an article in Today's American Catholic. The article appears here. Take some time and give it a read. It tells the story of a dedicated group of young people who worked and volunteered at the Catholic Worker in NYC in the mid-sixties. It provides some insight into life at the Catholic Worker and who these young people were in 1965.

The title of the article gives a nod to Bob Dylan and his song Positively 4th Street. That song expressed frustration and anger at someone who had wronged Dylan along the way.

The article had to be edited to meet the word count requirements of Today's American Catholic so it is in fact a bit shorter than the original chapter. Anyway as I said, take a look, give it a read and enjoy.

What Did We Learn - The Week of 9/25/21?

So what did we learn this past week, around the world and from sea to shining sea? Here are a few things.

We learned that it's true. Democrats do have a hard time governing. They may be great at organizing, recruiting candidates, campaigning and policy debates but when it comes to bringing it all together and getting things done, it's harder than it looks in that big tent.

We learned as a result of the above, Joe Biden's entire agenda is in real trouble.

We learned a lot about Haitians. Thousands were crossing the boarder from Mexico into Texas. Most had been away from Haiti itself  for 10, 5, 3 years as they searched for a new and better life in various parts of South America. They traveled thousands of miles to seek asylum in the United States. Brave people.

We learned that there are still those in our government who can and will be brutal and inhumane to other human beings, this time riding on horses and using reins to scare and terrorize people of color who need nothing more than help and hope as they were bringing food and supplies to their families.

We learned that Donald Trump lost the election again in Arizona after people spent millions of dollars and months trying to prove otherwise. He wants to repeat finding out about his loss  in a number of other states and in the end he just builds mistrust in the democratic process of voting.

We learned that Joe Biden won't shield the former President from investigation by the Select Committee investigating Jan. 6. and all of his activities leading up to the events of Jan. 6 will be open to some scrutiny.

We learned that a number of Trump's aides received subpoenas to testify at the Select Committee on events before and during the Jan. 6th. insurrection.

We learned that two more people died in the overcrowded and deplorable jails that serve NYC. 

We learned that NY Gov. Kathy Hochul is sticking to her plan to make sure that all health care workers in New York State get vaccinated or start the process by Sept. 27 or face dismissal.

We learned that China intensified a crackdown on cryptocurrencies with a blanket ban on all crypto transactions and mining, hitting bitcoin and other major coins and pressuring crypto and blockchain related stocks.

We learned that some private landowners and local governments are utilizing goats to help reduce the threat of wildfires in the west.

We learned that Beto O'Rourke is seriously considering running for Governor in Texas.

We learned about the difference in being white, blonde and missing and being a person of color and missing in America.

We learned that Facebook continues to be a place where misinformation and disinformation is able to thrive.

Health Care Employees and Personal Choice

There is a pretty awful and in my opinion crazy debate going on in my area of Upstate NY relative to a requirement for all healthcare workers to be vaccinated by the end of September. Gov. Kathy Hochul has put the requirement in place as part of her new administration. There are some medical exemptions but no religious exemption. 

Almost as quickly as the Governor put the requirement in place we began hearing from Hospital CEO's raising concerns about the vacancies this requirement would cause in their facilities. Of course it must be said that these facilities have traditionally had a high vacancy rate due to specific shortages, wage issues and other management decisions made by these CEO's. These folks also know how to muster political support for their issues so no surprise that other parties began to be heard from as well.

Employees themselves began to complain about the requirement and began throwing around the personal choice argument while holding demonstrations at their facilities. Of course burn out, vacancies and threats of quitting were all part of their approach too. Next we heard from 10 or so county leaders, administrators and surprisingly public health officials. These folks weren't so much against vaccinations or vaccines, they just thought the timing was poor and it would, yes, you guessed it, lead to more vacancies. The alternative being pushed was to offer employees weekly or more frequent testing. Personal choice was again the undertone of all of the discussions.

Now I understand that there are probably other things going on here. It's no surprise that most of this political support is coming from the Governor's opposition party. That's the party that says we don't have a legitimate President, that communists, socialists and nazis are lurking around every vineyard and dairy barn.  I'm also sure there are many reasons for the reality of impending resignations and increased vacancies in the health care field and they don't all have to do with anti vaccination feelings by these employees. 

We all need to recognize that these folks have been through hell. They have been short staffed, working overtime and watching people die and others not receiving appropriate care. Their wages have never been great. All of this takes a toll and none of us can really judge people needing to make a decision to leave those conditions. All of that though is very different than an anti vaccine position by an educated and trained health care or public health professional arguing for personal choice. People have gone to school, been educated and trained in issues like disease prevention, infection control and how diseases spread.

The Governor is saying she won't back down and I hope she doesn't. As a person with a serious, life threatening disease and disability, I don't want to receive health care in or from a facility where health care professionals aren't or won't follow the science or the things they were taught to receive their degrees and certifications. I don't want to be provided care by a facility who's top administrators can't figure out what's wrong with their own management. 

It's most disappointing that public health officials and departments have been dragged into this by their county administrators and convinced that a concern about vacancies outweighs their responsibilities for good public health practices. Public health is not local, its not about economic development and job protection.

Of course all health care workers should be vaccinated in a pandemic. Give me a break. The personal choice is still there. Find another job.

What Did We Learn? - The Week of 9/18/21

So what did we learn this past week, around the world and from sea to shining sea? Here are a few things.

We learned that always remembering the events of 9/11/0, the victims, the city, the other sites, the heroes, the families, the value of unity and pulling together as a nation and as the world are all critically important for our collective soul. These are things that should be remembered forever. We saw it in faces and celebrations of silence.

We learned that all of those respectful remembrances are different than belligerent chants of USA, USA or We're Number One!

We learned that Gavin Newsom survived a recall election and that people are beginning to think about perhaps having losers of such elections pick up the cost.

We learned that militarism and its relationship to money is very, very real. Witness France's anger over a $60 million nuclear submarine deal that was broken between them and Australia and brokered instead with the United States and Great Britain. No one is hiding it anymore. It's all about the money. Not even a discussion about more nuclear reactors, more nuclear weapons, more aggressive action against advisories.

We learned some awful things about Kabul. A drone strike that had been touted as a perfect attack on bombers and attackers actually was an attack on a civilian vehicle killing innocent adults and children. We learned that countries can and should admit to these mistakes. We know however, that many other deaths of civilians have been caused by drone strikes over the years. We know that Daniel Hale received 45 months in federal prison for reporting on the methods and many other attacks.

We learned that everyone, finally, seems to be concerned about the dreadful and inhumane conditions at the Rikers Island prison in NYC. Some prisoners have been in that facility for over a year without even getting a hearing in court. Others have languished for much longer fo minor offenses. Now we'll see who does what.

We learned that people will continue to fight with each other over things that should never require fighting. Things that were once easily accepted as common sense, looking out for one another and basic public health standards. People attacking each other physically over things like wearing a mask or showing proof of vaccination.

We learned that Joe Manchin continues to look out for Joe Manchin and that neither Democrats or Republicans really know how to govern. Voting rights, infrastructure, the economy be damned when it comes to these folks we sent to Washington.

We learned that Donald Trump vocally supports the people who attacked the Capitol and that he wasted more of our tax dollars by providing limousine service and extended protection to millionaires in his administration along with his adult children. We also learned that he still hasn't been held accountable for any of his actions.

We learned that Norm McDonald passed way too soon but left us with lots of good humor and laughs.

Remembering 9/11

Language can sometimes trick us or many times help us to learn about our communication with each other. To me there is a subtle difference between the often stated 'never forget' and the words I'd rather use 'always remember'. Some how 'never forget' comes out a bit more aggressive, perhaps threatening. I get the sense that those words are more for our enemies, letting them know that no matter what, retaliation is always possible, always on our mind. After 20 years and the 800,000 plus lives added to the 2996 who died on 9/11, I don't find any of that very useful.

Remembering though brings a different sense to me. One obviously of memories. Memories of all of those who died and of the heroes who showed up or pulled together or helped to unify a nation in shock. Memories of children and adults who needed hugs and words of comfort. Memories of helplessness that many of us felt. Memories it seems to me are always useful and hopeful and can be a part of reconciliation, something we always seem to need.

All of this is why I choose to use the term 'always remember'. Silly perhaps but my way of trying to find a different response to terror, heroes, killing, retaliation and continuous wars.

Labor Day and Dorothy Day

As I sit and ponder Labor Day, lots of things come to mind. As always, and especially in this time of a pandemic, I think of those many, many folks who will work this weekend, as they do every holiday and holiday weekend. Usually they're the people who keep us safe to some degree - nurses and other healthcare workers, firefighters, police. But there are others - grocery workers, food service workers, transit workers, people who help make sure the rest of us can enjoy the holiday, usually at low pay. Then there are the people who support and protect specific populations in places that always operate, 24 hours, 7 days a week. Employees in nursing homes and people who support people with disabilities in residential homes in communities all over the country.

These are the people who this holiday was meant to celebrate. Yet we tend to forget them as we make our plans for cookouts, times at the beach or the lake or camping in the woods. We also tend to forget their battles for fair wages and halfway decent working conditions. Battles that began over a hundred years ago. Battles where people were jailed and sometimes killed fighting for some level of fairness.

I also think about Dorothy Day, a woman I knew as a young man. Dorothy, like so many others, experienced the struggles of working men and women in the Depression. She saw young men, usually poor men, being sent to wars in Europe and Southeast Asia. She fought battles in the streets and told the stories of the poor with paper and pen. She traveled the country and spoke out about trying to find better ways of dealing with problems and each other. She understood the basics. The need for community, food and shelter, companionship and support. A House of Hospitality could be as simple as a guest room or as complex as an apartment building for people who needed it.

I was young (20) and she considered herself old (65) when I knew Dorothy. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have spent different time with her, learning more from her or at least trying. Sadly, many of the battles of today are the same as yesterday. There are also new challenges. Things like technology, an even smaller wealth class, the speed of information and misinformation, 24 hour news cycles, a rise in hate speech and actions. Either the pendulum has swung or the underbelly of who we really are has been exposed. Somehow the basics become more appealing, at least to me, in times like these.

So what are the basics today on this Labor Day weekend? The same as they've been for ages - community, justice, freedom, working for peace, supporting people, relationships. This quote from Dorothy Day helps bring me back to all of those things:

“What we would like to do is change the world--make it a little simpler for people to feed, clothe, and shelter themselves as God intended them to do. And, by fighting for better conditions, by crying out unceasingly for the rights of the workers, the poor, of the destitute--the rights of the worthy and the unworthy poor, in other words--we can, to a certain extent, change the world; we can work for the oasis, the little cell of joy and peace in a harried world. We can throw our pebble in the pond and be confident that its ever widening circle will reach around the world. We repeat, there is nothing we can do but love, and, dear God, please enlarge our hearts to love each other, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy as ourselves.”

Cuomo Still Doesn't Get It

I watched Andrew Cuomo's resignation speech and was embarrassed and shocked by it. First of all he presented himself as the victim throughout the entire thing. He blamed everyone and everything but himself. He continued to talk about his personal culture, how he was brought up, and the fact that he knew times had changed but he just couldn't always be counted on to keep up. He proved Andrew Cuomo is a dinosaur and there are reasons dinosaurs are extinct.

But he had more in his arsenal of bullying tactics and Cuomo gamesmanship. He came up with a female attorney who was willing to go out and blame the victims in the most crass and objectionable way. This woman went out and presented a powerpoint before his speech that showed pictures of one of the victims and basically said that this young woman was asking for it. Imagine the gall, the shaming and the callousness.

Now I had some experience with Andrew Cuomo as Governor while working for a non profit providing support to people with disabilities. It became clear pretty quickly after he was elected that he really didn't have any real concern for people with disabilities, their families or the people who supported them. Anything that we got from Andrew Cuomo had to be fought for and the rewards were never that great. He also had no qualms about adding to the regulatory burden that agencies and people had to follow. He did however demand complete loyalty and gratitude for whatever new things he came up with.

There were many enemies that Andrew Cuomo made along the way, even when he got things done. That's what happens when you let people know that they owe you when things they care about are accomplished or that their cause wasn't really that important anyway. Victims were scattered across Cuomo's path as Governor -victims of bullying, victims of being ignored, victims of old fashioned powerful, white male superiority.

Susan Arbetter, the great newscaster and journalist, tweeted the following which I think really captures what we've all just witnessed:

"The fall of Cuomo can be traced from Aristotle to Machiavelli to Voldemort: A hero in his own mind with hubris to burn and a master of realpolitik, ultimately brought to his knees by those he victimized."

Prison, Its Harm and The Kings Bay Plowshares 7

I heard yesterday about the release to home confinement of Martha Hennessy, one of Dorothy Day's granddaughters, Catholic Worker, member of the Kings Bay Plowshares 7. Also, within the past 24 hours I received a note from Mark Colville who is currently serving time in prison for his part as another Catholic Worker in the Kings Bay Plowshares 7 action. No story or communication from a prisoner is pleasant in my own experience. But when I hear about people of conscience who are doing time for the things they believe in, I'm torn apart on the inside where my own conscience resides. 

If you don't know about the actions of the Kings Bay Plowshares 7 you can read about them here. My short version is that they are a group of seven people who by their action tried to get the world's attention on the destructiveness and the absolute stupidity of nuclear weapons. 

But right now, as a result of hearing about Martha's release, I'm writing about prison and the harm it does to everyone, the prisoner, the guard, the families of both, and to society as a whole. I write as a former prisoner myself, a prisoner of conscience during the Vietnam war. Fifty Five years after my incarceration I'm still affected by certain triggers, a long term effect of imprisonment. Most likely PTSD, although never formally diagnosed. No one reacts the same to prison experiences. My reactions are perhaps unique to me but I doubt it. I've known and spoken to a lot of people who were formally incarcerated or held by the government for some reason other then criminal or political activity, perhaps due to mental health or an intellectual disability. All I know is that there are many who's feelings, reactions and emotions are similar to mine.

Triggers can be things like a movie, a tv show, an article or a book. Perhaps a conversation, a visit or a letter. Any of these things can begin a process of remembering the impact of losing control of your personal freedom, when it happened, how it happened and the impact it may have had.

The system of incarceration is in its simplest terms, putting a person in a setting where they have little to no control over their personal freedom - how they move, who they see, what they eat. It is the denial of privacy in every form. It includes the control of both physical and emotional freedom and choices. It is as simple as controlling personal space and as complex as controlling emotional stability. How people react to all of this is different based on many things. Most people fight extremely hard to keep some sense of their own freedom and dignity. Sometimes the battles and resistance are more difficult for certain individuals. But the stress factors that are caused by control by others test everyone.

The judicial system and the prison system have some fantasy that they are in fact working together for the good of society as well as the person imprisoned. There is nothing further from the truth. Judges many times believe they are sending people off to be rehabilitated. They are either naive or intellectually challenged. Many judges have never been in a holding cell let alone a prison. These two systems, court and prison, are totally independent of each other and the consequences are harmful. There are people who languish in jails for years who have not been tried, who cannot afford bail.

Few people realize that for every prisoner there is at least one other person impacted by each incarceration. In most cases it's more than one person. Spouses and children are the most obvious people impacted by imprisonment but there are certainly other family members and social relationships. Spouses and children are impacted by all the rules that impact the prisoner relative to letter writing and visits. No physical contact, no tolerance of broken rules by guards or administrators. Spouses and children are impacted by the emotional reactions and outbursts by the person they love that are caused by incarceration. They are the recipients of the reactions in letters or in visiting rooms. After release, spouses and children have to deal with the readjustment of the ex-con to a changed environment as well as their own adjustment to the individual's return, perhaps as a substantially changed person. Now multiply that by the tens of thousands of people incarcerated across our country and the world.

I know these things are true from my own experiences. My wife and son were impacted in all of these ways and more during and after my being in prison. Their experiences were different from mine but no less difficult or important. We were all changed in some way while perhaps thinking and hoping we were the same. Our experiences hurt us along with our relationship in the long term.

Sexual and physical abuse in prison is overstated to a degree but it does exist and every prisoner is on guard relative to the potential threat. Fights occur and factions are part of the social network and culture of prisons. Some prisoners isolate themselves or are isolated by those in charge. Isolation can be a blessing or a curse that does real emotional harm over time.

I had a friend I made in prison who had been involved in drug sales. He had received a 15 year sentence. He was addicted to heroin when he entered prison and basically went cold turkey when he was arrested. After ten years in prison he was being released with time for good behavior, etc. The day and night before his release I watched him go through serious shaking along with beads of sweat pouring from his face and head. It was as if he was reliving the withdrawal symptoms from his addiction all over again. He was released with the expectation that a minimum wage job would solve all of his and society's problems when in reality he could make thousands of dollars in a few days selling drugs. Guess which way that went.

I have tried to communicate with all of the imprisoned Kings Bay Plowshares 7 with spotty success. Letters have been returned because I didn't follow the rules by using lined versus blank white paper or because I put a return label on an envelope rather than writing the address. Post Cards may have gotten delivered but they're also easier for a guard to throw in the trash. 

These are some thoughts and stories about prison. I think about them especially when I see good people trying to do the right thing and then be carried off to a prison setting. I hate prisons. I believe they allow people to abuse power and try to destroy other human beings. The need for power and control of others has existed through the ages. The basic concept of prisons hasn't changed for centuries. 

Yes, I'm glad for Martha, Carmen, Liz and Fr. Steve and I hope Patrick, Clare and Mark are released soon. They've provided witness but they've suffered and have seen the suffering around them. Just remember, there are thousands of other witnesses on both sides of prison walls and fences.

Bezos Flight and Fancy

I was drawn to the launch of Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin like millions of others. My guess is that it has something to do with the excitement of watching the human quest to do more or to be first. But my interest was quickly turned to scorn, pity and some real disgust as I realized the depth of the inequality and arrogance of rich, privileged, white men represented by Bezos. He hasn't been very visible in my world until yesterday. I had never seen an interview or any in depth coverage of him as an individual. My sense was that he was a bit reclusive other than sending some x-rated selfies to a new woman friend.

But all that changed yesterday. He exposed himself very clearly as the new age colonialist of our solar system and perhaps all of space. It began with the visual of a grown man attempting to be a down home boy with his old cowboy hat versus a helmet for a space flight. I should have known at that point that we were all in for a not so pleasant ride.

Commentators began talking about the public, private partnership that had led to this day. How a private company (not just one by the way) was creating all of this new technology for the government (actually for the highest bidder). Of course all of this came with some government support, contracts, etc. Wait, hold on! Jeff Bezos, the wealthiest man in the world, is getting government support and contracts? Let that sink in for awhile. Another great partnership that your government has gotten you into. The wealthiest man in the world, the man who pays little to no taxes is getting taxpayer support for his projects into space. Hmm..

Up, up and away, but not for long. A return to earth and a capsule surrounded by more wealthy people wearing more cowboy hats in adulation of their friend, benefactor, shaking bottles of champagne in the heat of Texas at 8:30 in the morning. None of this seems right at the moment.

When Bezos speaks, he speaks about space colonization. He describes the world he envisions for everyone else, where all industry is moved to other planets to save this one. Earth will just be for living. Industry and work will be elsewhere. He compares this vision to his creation and development of Amazon. Everything starts small. Today is just the beginning. He sees nothing wrong with the fact that no one else has had anything to say about what he's proposing. He's thought it out, he's figured it out for all of us and he promises there are absolutely no other planets like this one in our entire solar system, so there.

As any good patriarch does, he thanks all of his Amazon customers and employees, who he acknowledges actually paid for his few minutes in space. It all ends with him handing out $200 Million in Courage and Civility awards that he must hope, help cover and forgive a multitude of sins and omissions.

All of this is in the best and truest of the capitalist traditions and it would be unpatriotic to think anything ill of it. Yet at the end of the day, the poor continue to be poor, the homeless continue to be homeless, workers continue to be exploited for profit by a few, and the endless wars continue. Our planet is dying and suffers from the abuse we all continue to put her through. Mother Earth, wars, hunger and poverty aren't just part of a game played by wealthy, privileged, white men. They represent billions of people who need community, who need help and support. Jeff Bezos, no matter what he thinks, doesn't have all the answers.

Influences

Everyone's life is influenced by someone, something or in most cases many things. I've recently given some thought to my own influencers over the years. Here are the one's that I think had the most impact:

Family of course is right up there with all of the other things but my maternal grandmother, an immigrant from Ireland as a youngster, had much influence on me. Her stories, her faith and her life helped form a good part of who I am. Also my older brother. He has always looked out for me and been a protector of sorts. He helped lead the way.

I was also influenced by life events. When I was 5 or 6 as a youngster at the Jersey shore, two of my siblings and I had polio including some paralysis. We all recovered but I think that experience early on gave me some sense of the impact of a disability and how it could affect a person's life.

There was a point in our lives when my mother had a Black woman by the name of Alma who came and helped around the house with laundry and cleaning. I spent hours with Alma learning about her faith and music. She introduced me to the likes of Mahalia Jackson, the great gospel blues singer. Also, just by being herself, Alma helped me begin to understand inclusiveness and diversity.

I spent a fairly short amount of time in a Catholic seminary right after high school. The time though, beginning studies to become a Maryknoll priest, had a major influence on my values and where I would go in life. Maryknoll as an order is known for the involvement of its brothers, sisters and priests in social justice issues throughout the world. Fr. Raphael Davila, a teacher and guide at the seminary in Glen Ellyn, Ill., had a major impact on my understanding of social conscience.

In 1965 I became involved in the demonstrations that followed Bloody Sunday in Selma Al. There were many famous people and leaders involved in that action but I was mostly influenced by the young people of Selma. They weren't famous or fancy but they were fearless and certainly had heart. I stood on a picket line with them singing songs and confronting the local police. I learned about courage and standing up to power from those young people and it would travel along with me for many years.

Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker molded me and helped me clarify my thoughts about war, peace, poverty, the Works of Mercy. The concept of personal responsibility and standing up for one's beliefs became clear and evident.

Time I spent in federal prison was a great influence, some good, some bad. My incarceration helped me understand incarceration in general and what happens to people when others control their lives for long periods of time. People in institutions of all kinds including the military, facilities for people with disabilities, nursing homes, etc. all see the results of power and control.

People with disabilities themselves and their families have influenced me greatly. Learning about treatment, mistreatment, goals, hopes and dreams that people have for themselves. Learning to listen to voices that are sometimes hard to hear or understand has been critical.

Finally of course my collaborator, friend, partner and spouse has influenced much of who I am.

In the end, it's all connected. All of the influences and all of the values come together and become part of a pathway. I'm very happy with the path I took, the friendships along the way and the changes that were at least attempted.

The Shoe Is On The Other Foot

I spent almost 40 years trying to support people with intellectual, developmental and physical disabilities. Yes, I say tried because the issues are so big and in many cases difficult when it comes to supporting people with disabilities. Systems, bureaucrats, politicians don't make it any easier.

I began my career in the disability field as a direct support worker and ended it as a nonprofit administrator. During that time, large institutions closed and people began to be accommodated in the things we all do, things like shopping, working, and playing. In simpler terms, just being able to live their lives like the rest of us.

While working in this field there was an inordinate amount of time spent talking about what we should call the people with disabilities who we were supporting - clients, participants, consumers and more. Eventually, I figured out after all the talk, that just calling people, people, or by their own name actually made the most sense. That's what you and I would want, isn't it?

Which brings me to the main point of why I'm writing this. I'm now a person with a disability, a progressive and incurable lung disease that every day prevents me from doing the most basic things and will eventually lead to my passing. Each day, something becomes a bit more difficult. Yes the shoe is on the other foot. Now I struggle to get from the front of my house to the back or to a doctor's office or a lab for an appointment or a blood test. All of these are difficult tasks due to my increased shortness of breath. 

I've also learned about how frustrating conversations with service coordinators or chronic care coordinators can be. These conversations are all part of an aspect of my health care and my health insurance. New and different people call to offer me help and assistance but most are unfamiliar with my disease (Pulmonary Fibrosis). I have to spend time educating them and in the end we usually agree there's not much they can do to help. Then they call again the following month and we discuss the same issues again.

It is becoming more and more difficult to get out and about. When I do venture out, I show up with my noisy and funny looking oxygen machine. I have to make sure I have back up electricity or batteries and even a small travel tank of oxygen. Of course its not just the oxygen. There's the tubing, 50' of it in my house, a tangle of trip hazards and 7' sections for travel. All of this has happened with the backdrop of a pandemic which has certainly added to the challenges. Questions arose quickly about vaccines. Initially challenges about where and when they could be gotten and then more questions about side effects relative to special conditions or diseases.

Of course with any rare disease that's life threatening, the issue of medications and prescription drug costs comes up. I currently take a medication that has the potential of stopping the progression of my fibrosis. But here's the challenge. It costs $10,000 per month or $120,000 per year and it comes with some pretty awful side effects. With my insurance I can get that cost down to $8,500 per year. Luckily, with the help of my doctor and a specialty pharmacy affiliated with a university, I was also able to find a foundation that has assisted in covering much of this cost. But there are many situations and medications that people battle over and few people realize how lives depend on those battles.

One of the things that was always frustrating to me when I was working with people with disabilities were  fights you had to wage for pretty basic medical equipment, including mobility equipment. Now I'm faced with the same challenges, being denied a non-invasive ventilator due to, not just expense, but because the insurance provider doesn't understand the equipment or its purpose. Appeals, appeals and more appeals lead to nowhere. The only real answer is finding a provider who will pay for and support the use of the equipment. Of course in our current system of health care, you can't just switch insurance any time you want, you need to wait for the new enrollment period.

I have wonderful care and support provided by my partner and spouse. The hardest part for me is realizing  the things I can't do anymore. Some are pretty basic things, others are more complex. I can't get down to the lake I love but I can see it from up above. Going out to other places or even just for a drive becomes more difficult as time goes on.

I have to fight dwelling on regrets and try to live in the present. In some cases that's easier said than done. I'm experiencing some cognitive and gross motor losses which make writing my memoir and this blog more challenging and I've found that I've had to cut back on those things. That of course is a disappointment but I'm going to keep trying. When someone asks how I'm doing I struggle to find the real answer. 

This is certainly not a call for sympathy or anything else. We all have to deal with challenges, some very real, others perhaps imagined. At this point I'm simply recording a journey that changes day by day. It's my own recognition that the shoe certainly is on the other foot at this point in my life.  I continue to learn through experience and understand more clearly much of the frustration I saw from disability rights groups over the years. Yup, we're 'Not Dead Yet' and we want to be treated fairly and with dignity. Something we all want.

The Great Scandal of The Age - Dorothy Day's Word On The Eucharist

"The great scandal of the age is that those without the sacraments are so often superior in charity, courage, even laying down their lives for their brothers, to the 'practicing Catholic' who partakes of the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist and then stands by while his brother is exploited, starved, beaten, and goes on living his bourgeois life, his whole work being to maintain 'his standard of living,' and neglecting the one thing needful, love of God and brother." Dorothy Day March, 1954

Ah yes, Dorothy Day had something to say about the Eucharist and those who would like to put themselves above others, especially the poor. The poor who make us uncomfortable with their odor and filth. The poor who make us uncomfortable with their illnesses and put such a burden on the rest of us. The poor who have to work two jobs to make ends meet. Or those who finally realize that a government benefit pays more than a sevice job.

The US Catholic Bishops Conference is prepared to question who deserves the Eucharist. What hypocrites in fancy robes with rings, special hats and crosses around their necks. These are men who have overseen the abuse of children in the diocese that they lead. They have, for the most part, excluded gay, lesbian and transgender people from the sacraments and from their worship. These are men who really don't seem to know Christ or his teachings. They should study who and when Christ excluded people from his teaching.

As these sacramental policeman look for how to exclude people from the ranks of the church, they do so while living very well. Wonderful homes, gracious meals, making themselves comfortable before they comfort those who need it. Their behavior is shameful but not a surprise. Many people have left the church because of these so called leaders. Others accept the fact that the church left them. The church and leaders like this have left us on issues like war and peace, economic equality, racial justice, and so much more. Abortion has become the end all of their preaching with no recognition of a woman's role in her own life or the life of the church. 

I am not surprised that the US Catholic bishops have lost their way. Honestly they could never be depended on for the leadership that's necessary in an inclusive church. They have had their chance and have failed every time. 

God help poor Francis. Dorothy Day pray for us.

Donald Trump's Legacy - An End to Democracy

At this point I believe that democracy as we knew it in the US, ended in 2020. Many will find it hard to accept. Others will say that it hardly existed in the first place. But Donald Trump's legacy is that he and his Republican partners have in fact brought an end to democracy in the US and the same end to democracy is now spreading internationally.

It was easier than anyone thought. No blatant coup, no nuclear arsenal let loose, no troops deployed. It proved to be simple really. Lies, lies and more lies told over and over again and pushed through a disinformation campaign using the media and high tech companies to communicate the message.

Initially there were Republicans who were as horrified as anyone else at the gross untruths and methodologies but once people in that party's leadership realized the potential for their power-base everything changed and it changed dramatically. People may not have come on board until a few months into 2021 but the big lie had been seeded right after the 2020 election.

Yes, the big lie ended it all. It makes some feel good to continue to refer to it as a lie but in fact none of that matters since the lie has become enough of a truth for enough of the people. Yes, what killed democracy was the accusation of fraud in the general election. The allegation of widespread fraud, real or imagined is now an accepted tactic to be used in every election with a recognition that the allegation itself is enough to sink the results. Even if a winner is declared and certified, the people who declare and certify are determined to be part of the fraud. And just so it's clear, this tactic can and will be used by any party who loses an election.

Add to all of this legislative efforts to suppress and reduce voting rights which makes voting itself more difficult and more controllable. It becomes pretty clear that democracy doesn't have a chance in this environment.

None of this means that democracy can't come back. It can but people need to realize that it will be a fight like no other. It will require commitment and belief. It will require cooperation and negotiation. It will require radical confrontation with powerful people. Sadly, it will most likely lead to some level of violence by one side or the other and possibly both. Institutions of government as we know them, the House, the Senate, the Courts will all most likely undergo major changes. It will take brave people to stand up and speak truth to power.

I have no idea how any of it will end but I do know that this is Donald Trump's legacy and he has lots of partners.

Remembering Dan Berrigan

Recently there have been numerous postings and articles about Dan Berrigan, the Jesuit priest who stood up for justice and peace many times during his lifetime. April 30th, 2021 was the 5th anniversary of his death and May 9th, 2021 would have been his 100th Birthday. As a result, many who knew Dan or people who looked up to his actions or values have found ways to commemorate these dates. On Saturday, May 8th, I'll be participating in a Zoom event hosted by John Dear from his Beatitudes Center, "Celebrating Dan Berrigan's 100th Birthday".

Jim Forest, author of "At Play In The Lions Den, a Biography and Memoir of Dan Berrigan", has also written much about Dan recently. Jim and Dan had a close relationship based on their involvement in the founding the Catholic Peace Fellowship in the 60's. Jim's insights are important and impressive and anyone interested in learning more about Dan would be well served by reading Jim's biography.

I knew Dan from my involvement at the Catholic Worker in New York City in the mid 60's. Dan was a frequent visitor to the Catholic Worker at that time participating in Friday Night Meetings, performing Liturgies or visiting with Dorothy Day and everyone else at St. Joseph's House of Hospitality. Dan, like most of us, was evolving during that period of his life. He was being affected by the war in Vietnam, racial injustices and poverty. He was counseling young men about the draft and promoting conscientious objection as a legitimate Catholic response to war. At the same time he was being affected by young people, men and women, who were already making decisions about the war and resistance to it. He was, I think, challenged by the difference between talking about resistance and actually resisting.

When the Catholic Worker became involved in draft card burning, initially by one of Dan's students, David Miller and then at Union Square in 1965, through the involvement of Dorothy Day, Tom Cornell and myself, Dan was watching closely. He was understanding the significance of the events and supporting them but also like many, wondering where would they lead.

A few days after the draft card burning at Union Square, another young man associated with the Catholic Worker, Roger LaPorte, walked to the UN with a gallon or so of gasoline and set himself on fire. Roger made statements about being a Catholic Worker and being against war, all war. Roger died a few days later. There are lots of stories about Dan's involvement with all of these events. Here's what I know. Both Dorothy Day and Dan Berrigan were concerned about the impact of Roger's action and death on young people broadly and specifically on the young people at the Worker. There were some within and outside of the Worker who wanted to quickly condemn Roger's action. Both Dorothy and Dan, separately, knew that life and this death were more complicated than that. Dorothy struggled with public perceptions and Dan worried about that close knit community of young people that he had come to know.

I was a part of the group of young folks who were impacted by all of this. We didn't like the way statements were being made about Roger and his action. We didn't like the media circus that naturally ensues when something as significant as this happens. We were struggling ourselves with Roger's frustration about protests, draft card burnings and their ineffectiveness against the war. We were of course a community, 10 or 12 of us brought together by our relationship with the Catholic Worker. When Roger passed, we got together for our own private response, a memorial that evolved into a Liturgy. Dan came to participate. We shared bread and wine. We prayed and remembered Roger. Dan became our pastor and blessed the gifts. He said some comforting words. We hugged and cried. Much has been made about this event. I have no doubt that it was a direct reason for Dan being assigned out of the country to South America and basically silenced for his opposition to war and violence. But it certainly wasn't as formal as some have implied. 

Dan and his brother Phil were influenced by all of this and went on to become leaders of the Plowshares movement in opposition to nuclear weapons of mass destruction. They both wrote and talked about the influence of these early events and their own evolution as leaders in the resistance movement. 

Some of what all of these discussions and remembrances of Dan reminds me of is his love of and constant searching for community. Actually, he made it seem very easy. He found community in small groups of friends, large demonstrations or gatherings, or with just one other human being. He thrived on community and was constantly seeking it out and in the process making everyone else comfortable in finding it. But he also enjoyed the search and the reach. He would go to every corner of society to find community and that's where the Eucharist would take place and everyone, but especially Dan, would enjoy it. Happy 100th Dan. Rest in Power!

Here is a musical remembrance of the Catonsville action that both Dan and Phil Berrigan were a part of. Thanks to J DeFilippo for this: War No More

88th Anniversary of The Catholic Worker

Today, May 1, marks the 88th anniversary of the Catholic Worker movement, founded by Peter Maurin and Dorothy Day. Soup-lines, Houses of Hospitality, Farm Communities, newspapers and newsletters, demonstrations, protests, arrests and jail time are all part of that history and continue today around the world. Workers and scholars clarifying thought through discussion. A no nonsense philosophy of personalism and Christian anarchy have always been at the core of the Catholic Worker. Thousands upon thousands have been impacted in someway. All of this will continue long after many of us are gone because the concepts are in fact simple. We are all responsible for our own actions as well as each other. Happy Anniversary to Catholic Workers around the world and continue the fight for peace, justice and equality.

Policing in America

Policing is always hard and difficult. It is also many times not good for anyone, including the police officer. Most say it's a necessary evil that we need to accept, put up with for the greater good. It's at the core of a lot of other things in society and government. Things like courts and prisons are the direct result of policing. From there, agencies and systems have developed. Things like probation departments and various support and prevention agencies all have their roots in policing and arrests. So it has certainly become complicated over the yers, decades and centuries. Yet we consistently give people guns, handcuffs and other tools to arrest and detain more people.

In the evolution of policing in America however, biases and discrimination have taken over, along with the abuse of power by many who are hired to perform these duties of control and "peace" keeping. Why is it that people of color, poor people, people who are different are targeted by police agencies across the country? Who provides this direction and these policies in cities, towns, villages and municipalities? We all share some blame in this and we all share some responsibility - everyone who wants safety in their lives, everyone who lets public officials know what is acceptable and of course those who fear people who don't look or act like them. Principles of nonviolence, non confrontation and deescalation have to be a major part of discussions and reforms.

But the policing problem is much bigger than these things alone. In many cases, police authorities are running the show based on their own interpretation of what they believe is good for everyone else. In addition, people who are hired for policing positions bring plenty of biases with them. It may be from experiences in the military, from their upbringing or from colleagues. Wherever it comes from, it is deep-seated and yes, attitudes about power and control are built into the equation of policing.

With all of that being said, what we're seeing and what communities of color have been seeing for years relative to policing and the use of force is totally out of balance. People are being abused, shot and are dying for the most minor offenses. Why are men and women of color being pulled over for minor infractions that lead to death? Why are people even pulled over for some of these infractions? How important are traffic violations? These are serious questions that need to be answered. Police departments and municipalities need to figure out why their training on deescalation seems to be failing. What is the mind set of police looking for confrontation, chasing, pursuing and terminating lives over misdemeanors? Why, when tragedies happen do police agencies set themselves up in tit for tat battles with the communities they are supposed to be serving?

Although it's tempting, we can't turn away from videos of people being killed or abused by the police. Of course they're disturbing but so are the experiences people are living or dying through. We can't turn away from trials and demonstrations. People of color and other minorities have been living with absolute fear of the reality of what happens to them when confronted by the police. But most of all, police agencies and police officers have to stop the battle with members of their communities. They have to stop the emphasis on force and retaliation. They have to stop presenting themselves as military entities with wartime equipment that can be used to battle their communities.  

The Catholic Worker 1965

**I am in the process of writing a short Memoir. Not really for publication but more as a historical document for my two sons and granddaughters. It contains family history, upbringing, etc. Below is a chapter I've written about the Catholic Worker. This is only a portion of what I've written on that time frame but some readers may be interested in some of this history as I saw it.

I had recently returned to St. Anselm College from a few weeks in Selma, Alabama participating in the voter rights demonstrations. While there I knew I was ill, but nothing was diagnosed until I got back to the college campus. It turned out that I had pneumonia and I soon developed pleurisy which ultimately led to a collapsed lung. My illness in Manchester, NH led to other things. My parents had arrived while I was in the hospital. They had met with the president and Abbot at the college and my disappearance it seems had been forgiven by college officials. But other things were going on. My interest peaked in new ideas, nonviolence, social justice, the draft. The war in Vietnam was raging and students and professors were discussing how these things would be impacting the lives of everyone. I had already sent my 4D draft card back to my local draft board. I was classified as 4D, a religious deferment, due to my previous enrollment at Maryknoll Seminary. All of that would change soon enough.

While lying in my hospital bed, one of the priests from St. Anselm’s brought me a few copies of the Catholic Worker newspaper. I began reading things that I had never heard before from traditional church writings. I read articles by Dorothy Day about her travels, about the need for volunteers and workers, I met people in those pages, people like Thomas Merton, Dan Berrigan, Italian Mike, Mad Paul, Julia, Scotty. I saw people writing about the works of mercy in the here and now, about war and peace, about taking action, about going to jail.

There, in the hospital, I started talking to my mother and father about the Catholic Worker and my desire to see and work at a place like that. They tried to understand but clearly didn’t. They told the priest to stop bringing me all that material. They talked to the doctors and wondered if all of the medicine was affecting my thinking. After a week or so it was decided that it may be best for me to go home to New Jersey to rest and recuperate. The college would keep my spot open for the rest of the semester.

Conversations with my parents went nowhere on both sides. I decided at a certain point that I would go to the Catholic Worker in NYC for a visit in the early summer of 1965. A few old high school friends took me to the city and dropped me off. I was there for a visit but never left until FBI agents took me away close to two years later to serve a 3 year sentence in federal prison.

The Catholic Worker in 1965 had numerous young people at St. Joseph’s House of Hospitality located at 175 Chrystie St. in NYC. Young people who had come from various parts of the country. Some attracted by the overall philosophy of the Worker and others who came specifically around anti-war activities and pacifist beliefs. There were older, more experienced Catholic Workers like Walter Kerrell who was in charge of the office area, Ed Forand, who basically ran house operations and Marty Corbin, managing editor of the monthly newspaper. Walter and Ed lived in apartments in the city and Marty basically traveled between Tivoli, NY where the Catholic Worker operated Peter Maurin Farm, and NYC. Marty’s family lived at the farm and he would come to the city for about a week each month to pull the paper together and get the final copy to the printer. Chris Kerns was another operational person at Chrystie St. He was kind of a bridge between the older folks and the younger volunteers who were showing up. By that time, Tom Cornell had phased out of any operational aspects of the Worker and was working full time with Jim Forest at the newly formed Catholic Peace Fellowship. Chris basically showed me the ropes of driving the old CW van to the produce market where we begged for cases of vegetables and other food. He also showed me the process for getting flop house rooms for some of the folks from the Bowery who we couldn’t find sleeping space for at Chrystie St or at one of the apartments that the CW rented. You had to be a quick learner because as soon as someone showed you something, you were bound to be put in charge of that activity. 

At one point as an example, I became known as the ‘benign bouncer’, taking on responsibility at the front door during the soup line. The job required listening and observational skills along with negotiating and quick thinking. Things were not always pleasant. Alcohol and drugs could cause major personality changes in people who a few moments before were your best friend. The front window, a large plate glass affair, became a frequent target of stones, bricks, bottles or elbows. 

The essence of the Catholic Worker has always been the people who make it up and the sights and sounds of those people. The smells, some pleasant and others not very. Tobacco, coffee, potatoes and soup along with body orders and aged clothing were all part of life at the Catholic Worker. The lines between volunteers or staff and people supported or helped were easily blurred which was a good thing. Nicknames existed for almost everyone. None were meant to be insulting and some were chosen by the person named.

There certainly was a lot to learn. Making coffee in huge urns first thing in the morning and then soup for 150 to 200 people a day, setting tables, going to the clothing room and sorting through donated shoes, pants, shirts and coats for folks who needed them. There were other things that you kind of learned on the fly like answering the phone or breaking up fights in the dining area, at the door or in front of the building. Most importantly, learning also consisted of relationships with co-workers who could be a person who had lived on the Bowery for years or a young person like yourself from Oregon or Texas. Personalities galore, that was the Catholic Worker and you just became one of the many others who made up that voluntary community.

Dorothy Day, co-founder with Peter Maurin, of the Catholic Worker movement and newspaper was the star of the show however. To a young man feeling his way around the politics of war, peace and social justice, she was amazing as well as a bit scary. She was, in her own words, a benevolent dictator. When she arrived at the front door of St. Joseph’s, the House of Hospitality on Chrystie Street operated by the Catholic Worker, people would do one of two things, scatter or flock. I was part ignorant and very much in awe of this strong woman so I tried to melt into the background and just do the work that I had been doing before she showed up. Dorothy spent much of her time at that point in her life either at the Catholic Worker farm in Tivoli, NY or traveling. She had numerous speaking engagements as well as her daughter and her grandchildren living in Vermont.

Living in a community always has challenges. Dorothy experienced them as much as anyone else but she also had the burden of being the assumed leader and arbitrator. When she walked into St. Joe’s or the Farm, there was a reason for people to scatter or flock. Every grievance, no matter how small or how big would be brought to her attention. Should we provide margarine on the tables to go with the bread on the soup line everyday, or should we keep it just for the permanent people housed at the Worker? How many times should we replace the large pane glass window out front when Arthur or Mike will just come back after their next binge and break it again? What should we do about the increased prices at the flop houses on the Bowery where we housed some long time friends? Dorothy usually had much bigger problems to solve like paying the printer or fixing infrastructure at one of the Worker’s properties. Sometimes she would grow weary of what may have been important questions to someone but at the same time pretty trite to her. So she’d answer simply “butter for everyone” or “if it’s broken fix it” and then go upstairs to face some of the bigger issues or just to rest from her trip to or from or perhaps to pray for the poor souls she had just left downstairs unable to make simple decisions. 

It seemed to me that Dorothy, no matter where she was coming from or going to, was in fact, always escaping. Escaping from the farm, escaping from Vermont, escaping from NYC or escaping from a long and difficult journey, on pilgrimage as it were. But in her escaping from the pressures of one place, she was being welcomed at another, having a bit of recuperation and eventually facing new pressures and challenges of the present.

Friday Night Meetings, a cornerstone of the Catholic Worker, were or could be an intriguing and interesting experience. These were meant to be the place where scholars and workers could share thoughts and ideas, clarification of thought as Peter Maurin had preached. People would come from all over to hear ideas and to start or finish arguments. Always interesting to see who might show up. People like Norman Mailer, Jimmy Breslin, Ed Sanders founder of The Fugs, Malachy McCourt, Grace Paley, Paddy Chayefsky, Allen Ginsberg, Abbie Hoffman and more. Interesting folks sharing sassafras tea with people who called the Bowery home. These folks weren't present all the time or all at once but one or two may show up for a particular talk or topic, mixing with everyone else.

I didn’t spend lots of time personally with Dorothy but when I did it was usually about writing or on the prospect of prison. She enjoyed talking to young people (sometimes). She also felt very responsible for those she knew were facing hard decisions about the draft and war resistance. Where I really got to know Dorothy though was through observation. I watched her with visitors, with people from the soup line, with the famous and not so famous who would come to Friday Night Meetings. I saw her interact at conferences with people from other organizations. She and I even sat together for a radio interview on WBAI about draft resistance, conscientious objection and the War in Vietnam where I watched her take complex issues and turn them into clear and concise statements and ideas. I watched her at the farm in Tivoli interacting with her own family or the Corbin family. She was highly respected by other organizations in the peace movement and recognized for her judgement and opinions.

Having said that, It was not always easy to watch or interact with Dorothy. She, like every one else, had her flaws and rough spots. She could be very hard on people, some might say insensitive. Dorothy could speak in short, brief bullets that could sometimes be seen as too clear. She was quick to judge and was certainly opinionated. But she would also think things through and apologize when necessary. I didn’t give her a free pass on things either. I and other folks involved at the Worker often questioned her actions or inactions. Youthful exuberance sometimes had us doing things our own way, making sure that we waited for Dorothy to be off on another trip before we changed things back to the way we thought they should be done. Years later I realize Dorothy most likely knew all of this was happening as quickly as she got out the door.

But I certainly learned a lot from this woman who had seen so much in her own life. First, I learned to be strong and unafraid. To support others no matter who they were or how great their need. To be kind but also angry if necessary. To always speak up when you saw injustice. To realize that we can all be part of a community of saints, perhaps a bit ragged, bruised and imperfect but in the end, a community of saints. To laugh and to love writing, or cooking, or singing or whatever your talent may be.

The personalism and Christian anarchy of the Catholic Worker was what made everything work. These were also the values that helped me evolve into who I became over the years.

One of the last times I saw Dorothy was in a courtroom in New Jersey where I was being sentenced for refusal to report for induction. Dorothy had made the trip to Newark to support me in my decision and to let me know that the Catholic Worker community would support me and my family while I was in prison. We stole a glance at each other as I was led away, sentenced to three years in the custody of the Attorney General (Federal Prison). 

I went to visit Dorothy in 1980 at Maryhouse in NYC, right before she passed away, but we didn’t see each other due to her weakened condition.