A Reminder!

"Hello. "

"Hi, is this Mr. Wilson?"

"Yes it is."

 "This is Dr. Amer's (fictitious name) office and I'm just calling to remind you of your procedure next Tuesday."

 I almost fell off the chair laughing and told the pleasant young woman that the last thing I needed was to be reminded of was my procedure on Tuesday. She laughed nervously and continued to remind me that I needed to call the hospital between 11am and 2pm on Monday to find out when my surgery was scheduled the following day.

As a reminder to readers (certainly not me), my procedure is abdominal surgery to remove a good portion of my colon and the malignancy that sits there. Anyway that was toward the end of a day that had involved an appointment with my Anesthesiologist, dropping off paperwork at an attorney's office and stopping at the branch of a local home health care agency to pick up supplies for my CPAP machine. All of these things were related in some way to my surgery. Started traveling at 7:30 am and got home around 1 pm with a stop for a quick bite to eat. Later in the day the call, the reminder.

So my saga continues. I have met wonderful care givers along the way and I've been impressed with the major impact administrative support staff and nurses have in the important relationship with patients and doctors. I've seen this before but it amazes me all the time. Doctors are very busy concentrating on their work, the technical and diagnostic aspects especially, and they're seeing many people sometimes one right after the other. We each want and expect their full attention. The people who help make sure that happens are their support people and RN's and I for one am grateful for those folks and the role they play. It makes a real difference when you think you're in the hands of caring and competent people as you try to figure your way through the process of your own health care.

It reminds me of all of the challenges that we have in life - physical, emotional, financial, educational - and how important it is along the way to give or recieve a hand of assistance along the way. Someone to just take the time to help you through the maze you may be seeing. Good people are out there everyday doing that for people, from the healthcare worker to the grocer or bagger at the grocery store. With all of our differences, political, ethnic and economic status, there are commonalities that just break through and takeover it seems. I like that and I'm paying more attention to it. It's one of the positive aspects of our human nature.

So this weekend I plan to tidy things up and keep busy before that damn procedure. I'm finding that I have an awful lot to do and not enough time to do it. I also go through periods of laziness (don't know another word or what else to call it) where I just get a bit overwhelmed and say the heck with it and sit and contemplate things like this.

I wish I could say I'm not concerned and a bit scared but I am. On the other hand I've also concluded that this is just one more challenge in life and you just have to face it and move forward. It's also been pointed out to me that I'm really on the good side of the continuum of diagnosis and treatment. I could be sitting here undiagnosed and untreated for a long period and then what? So we move on, plugging away. Making sure what needs to get done, gets done or at least identified.

With all of this activity, I hope I don't just plain forget about that procedure on Tuesday morning.

Health, Mortality, Memories, Regrets, Etc.

Earlier this month I got news that I have a malignant tumor on my colon. The identification came from a colonoscopy that was recommended based on some discomfort I'd been having as well as my own history with intestinal issues. I have also had previous encounters with Cancer. In 1995, the upper lobe of my right lung was removed along with a tumor that was also malignant but hadn't spread. Anyway, this thing was caught early, is fairly small and there are no indications of it spreading. I'm scheduled for surgery to cut the nastiness out next week. That's the good news. The bad news is, that however you cut it, information like this, as well as the expierience of pre-op testing, appointments, trying to organize your life and the actual surgery, can make a mess of your mind. I've heard from others and know myself that serious health issues present people with a roller coaster effect in terms of feelings, changes, and where one's head is at.

Our own mortality is something that many of us don't want to ever face and sometimes we don't have to. Accidents happen, people aren't informed well, or illness just strikes quickly. But when you're left to contemplate how things will go or what your chances are, many tricks get played on you and the people who care about you. I've decided to write about this for a very selfish reason - It helps. Putting some thoughts down helps me and perhaps some others who are out there, now or later, struggling with some of the same issues.

This comes so close to the loss of my friend Matt (written about earlier in Memories of Matt) that it makes me jerk and sputter a bit. On the other hand, he was an inspiration to talk to and see in his final days and weeks. In many ways a sign of strength and hope.

I'm going to be 70 in mid June and I still haven't figured out how this all works. You know - the world, life, death, hereafter, supreme beings, heaven and hell, the whole ball of wax. It all continues to be a mystery to me. I have figured out good and evil as best I can. Justice and injustice are also pretty clear to me. But there's lots I don't understand and I find myself spending more and more time trying to understand things that I'll probably never comprehend. Things like why different people are born with different privileges, choices and opportunities? Why are some lives short and other's long? On and on really.

I also have my memories and I'm flooded with them at times. Memories of people, places, things, events and incidents both good and bad. I'm lucky because most of my memories are truly good. Maybe we make sure that happens along the way. Who knows? Memories are built upon everyday. This past weekend I built more with my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, her father (my son) and his wife. Wonderful, even if an exhausting, time. Riding on Seneca Lake in grandpa's boat, eating good food and building a history with each other. Lifting her high above my shoulders on the count of three and hearing her say "Again".

I have memories of another life and time with my own parents and siblings and of course times of struggle during the 60's and "the movement". Fighting to bring about change in a difficult time. Contentious times they were. Then there are all of those years, working in one place, working with people I really cared about and still do. Memories carry us through so many hard times and personal storms and mine, even the stormy times, are great ones that I really cherish.

There are people who minimize regrets and say that you shouldn't dwell on them. Well maybe not, but having them is different than dwelling on them I guess. I also think it's important to know what they are and if you have the opportunity, to correct what you can. My regrets are many and perhaps shared by others like myself. The biggest regret I have is the time that I didn't spend with the people I love, my boys particularly but also my siblings. I also regret the things I didn't do relative to changing things that could have or should have been changed in the world. There are times when I didn't speak up loudly enough when I saw the wrong things happening. When people in power abused it or just regular folks did stupid things. Not following my musical instincts. Not writing more and sooner. I regret my own failure at non-violence in words and actions. I regret not reconnecting with people or hurting people along the way. I truly regret not taking the time that's needed to smell roses.

There are many more but that will do for starters and will keep me busy as I try to reduce those regrets as I move forward. There are life lessons here. They aren't new or earth shattering. If anything they are simply reminders. Life is short. Do good work. Things happen that you can't and don't control. Enjoy everything and live life to it's fullest. Forgive and don't judge. Most importantly, keep going and keep trying to figure it all out. It's a challenge.

Those are the things I'm going to do.

Economic & Human Impact of Flooding On The Arc of Yates & Community

Many are aware of the severe flooding that took place in Yates County last week. Not once but twice. Small businesses and individual home owners were all hit hard in various parts of the county. Roads and other infastructure was also seriously impacted. Penn Yan and Branchport were hardest hit. Some damage can be seen easily but there's a lot that someone passing by may not see or understand immediately. Water flooded basements where many businesses stored supplies and inventory. Mechanical equipment also tends to be in basement areas. Much is lost or destroyed and some people are struggling with issues around if they can ever re-open or return to their home. All of this is heartbreaking for the people going through it, for neighbors and friends. The community has pulled together in a positive and wonderful fashion. County and municipal officials have done a great job along with non profit groups, Churches and disaster relief agencies.

There is a story though that needs to be told about an organization that also got hit extremely hard. I'm referring to The Arc of Yates, a non profit that provides supports to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families. The Arc does this on a daily basis in a quiet way, making sure people have the supports they need to live as independently as possible. During last week's storms, The Arc's  day habilitation and work center site on North Ave. was flooded and re-flooded after an initial clean up had begun. For most of the week many people were without employment or program support from The Arc. I don't know the exact number but when you count employees out of work and people not receiving supports, you're probably talking about well over 200 or perhaps 300 people. Think about that from an economic impact perspective.... And then there's the cost of not just the clean up but all of the repairs and maintenance. I've heard estimates of $200 to $300k but who knows what the total will be in the end. The Arc has insurance and I'm sure it's a good policy but it certainly won't cover everything. In addition to the North St. building, The Arc operates a number of homes for people with disabilities. I would guess a number of these have been impacted by water in basements and yards.

The people at The Arc are good and smart people who work their hearts out to make life easier for one of the community's most vulnerable populations. They get a lot of important and well deserved government funding for the job they do but they also get cut when people want to reduce budgets. In addition they have to raise dollars to take up the slack when funds don't match service needs. This latest challenge is hitting them hard and many people may not understand first, the important work they do as well as the economic impact they have on the Yates County community. Obviously everyone deserves help and support when this kind of natural disaster strikes. I just want to urge people not to forget The Arc, its employees and the people with disabilities that they support during this hard time. Here is a link to a way that you can help The Arc directly as they go through this expierience. Help Restore The Arc of Yates

When Communities Pull Together

Great things happen when communities pull together.

Earlier this week, 5+ inches of rain fell continuously in Penn Yan, NY, Branchport, NY and other small communities in Yates County. Someone said it was more rain then the area normally receives in a month. The results have been devastating for the Village of Penn Yan and other areas of Yates.

That's where the great things are happening. People are pulling together to help each other out. Keuka College students and staff are all over town, moving material, cleaning up yards, scraping off mud. Great work. The Red Cross is doing what they do best, disaster services, shelters and food. Public Works and Emergency Services, pumping water, working on gas lines, clearing roads and debris. Churches and social service agencies, feeding, counseling, helping and praying. Police and Fire Departments, responding with command posts and organized leadership. The media has also played a significant and great role using social media like Twitter and Facebook to communicate information to residents quickly.

Private bloggers and websites have also played important roles. Here's one called In The Finger Lakes that normally let's people know about all the great opportunities there are in this area. In the past few days it has helped get the word out to people about the devastation and problems. Nice job. Take a look Here.

So what's happening in Penn Yan is a reiteration of what's good about most communities. People care about others in a crises and want to help and they do. More power to you Penn Yan and Yates County.  Keep it up and let's be glad we have each other to lean on.

What Happens When You Die?

Well I bet that got your attention. Me too. When I opened my mail the other day there it was - a screaming heading on the letterhead. "What Happens When You Die?" it asked. I thought I was going to get some answers. You know - something about where do you go, or do souls and spirits linger on and float around us, sometimes pleasing and sometimes haunting. What about heaven, hell and purgatory? Maybe the floating around for eternity is really the hell of it. And more basically, with all of the billions and billions, or trillions for that matter of people who have died throughout history, how is there any room and what do you say when you bump into someone like Caesar, assuming you're both in the same place? I can't be alone in these questions to ponder but alas, no answers in that letter in the mail. Just an invite from an attorney to learn about estate planning and of course, what happens when you die.

But these are real questions to think about since we are all mortal and at some point have to face the reality of the end of our life or that of a loved one.

Last night I joined a large audience at Norton Chapel on the Keuka College campus and listened to Scott Simon discuss his mother's death about nine months ago. Simon is that soothing voice that many listen to on Saturday mornings on NPR. He's the host of Weekend Edition where he melds news, stories, interviews and commentary about everything from music, family and dance to war, peace and the state of the world in general. He's also an author and journalist and seems to do both of those things well.

Last night's discussion, as I said, focused on his mother's death which occured fairly quickly after she had been admitted to a hospital for respiratory issues. Over a period of two weeks or so, as he stayed at his mother's side, he used the social media platform Twitter to record what was taking place or to send messages about his mother out into twitter land and his thousands of followers. For those of you who don't know, Twitter limits each message to 140 characters so you have to organize your thoughts concisely. Initially I thought this whole idea was a bit morbid but over the course of an hour Mr. Simon convinced me that it was a good thing to do, at least for him.

His talk, as did his tweets, covered a range of topics. Obviously deep and caring relationships but other things that we sometimes don't talk about enough - Dying itself, along with healthcare, how the elderly are sometimes treated in the last stages of life, not getting or having good information about what's happening to you or your loved one. He also talked a great deal about nurses and the care they provide to the sick, the dying and families. A recognition that anyone who has experienced serious illness or the death of a loved one understands immediately.

Mr. Simon had a great love for his mother and is still impacted by her death. He said at one point that after nine months he still wants to pick up the phone to give her a call. He wondered out loud if he will always want to do that? He will I'm sure. My father died 16 years ago. We would talk on the phone every Sunday for many years. The calls were usually initiated by me but sometimes he beat me to it. I can attest to Mr. Simon that the urge to make that call still exists so many years later and I know I'm not alone in experiencing that kind of urge.

We learned a lot about Mr. Simon's mother during that talk. She was "an old showgirl", his words, not mine, and she had vim and vigor right up to the last few days of her life. She cared about the people caring for her and wanted her son to spend more time with his family, etc. She sounded like a pretty amazing lady but then most mothers are.

Intertwined in his talk were thoughts about journalism, social media, the relationship between writers and readers and of course some pondering about the questions that began this piece. Simon is writing a book about his mother and about the expierience of spending that time with her at the end of her life. It should be out later this year and I would bet will be a very good read. So keep your eye out and do some research if you want on Mr. Simon and his tweets. Oh and don't forget you can listen to him every Saturday morning on Weekend Edition.

Ethics, Anti-Corruption and Transparency

Today, May 6, 2014, the New York Times has a lead story on how the US Attorney is looking into the operation and dismantling of the Moreland Commission that was set up by NY Governor Andrew Cuomo, to look into corruption and ethics violations by various government officials. The article lays out pretty clearly the issues and the history of the commission. It also identifies some of what I've talked about here previously relative to Cuomo's management style as well as similar issues that have been identified in the Governor Christie investigation. Both men have spoken about transparency in their approach to and operation of government. It's interesting though that both administrations seem to have tried to figure out ways to limit access and the flow of information. You can view the entire NYTimes article HERE

The Times' article points out two methods the Cuomo administration has used, not just in the Moreland Commission case, but in other areas of governing according to recent reports. First, staff using personal email accounts to communicate government business and second, using Blackberry PIN communications that are not kept electronically. These are methods that were also used by Christie's staff in communicating about various issues related to New Jersey government operations. Most likely many other entities use similar tactics but that's what these things are - tactics to limit access to information (transparency) that everyone touts as so critically important.

Cuomo's response to questions about his shutting down of the Moreland Commission are also telling relative to the attitude he has that I've written about here in the past. Here's a quote from the Times' article that really gives a clear sense of Cuomo's attitude about himself, his power and about anyone questioning his authority. It was given last month as Cuomo was reacting to and dismissing suggestions that his office was interfering with the commission's investigations. "It's my commission. I can't 'interfere' with it, because it is mine. It is controlled by me."

On the use of Blackberry smartphones, the Times' article reports that federal prosecutors collected these along with the commission's documents and computers. Reportedly, senior staff were told to communicate with Cuomo's aides only via Blackberry PIN messages that are not recorded on government servers.

It seems that what we have in both the Christie and Cuomo administrations is the selected use of transparency when it is beneficial to each administration. This is exactly why good government advocates and organizations ask for and demand transparency. It isn't something you decide behind closed doors.