What Happens When You Die?

Well I bet that got your attention. Me too. When I opened my mail the other day there it was - a screaming heading on the letterhead. "What Happens When You Die?" it asked. I thought I was going to get some answers. You know - something about where do you go, or do souls and spirits linger on and float around us, sometimes pleasing and sometimes haunting. What about heaven, hell and purgatory? Maybe the floating around for eternity is really the hell of it. And more basically, with all of the billions and billions, or trillions for that matter of people who have died throughout history, how is there any room and what do you say when you bump into someone like Caesar, assuming you're both in the same place? I can't be alone in these questions to ponder but alas, no answers in that letter in the mail. Just an invite from an attorney to learn about estate planning and of course, what happens when you die.

But these are real questions to think about since we are all mortal and at some point have to face the reality of the end of our life or that of a loved one.

Last night I joined a large audience at Norton Chapel on the Keuka College campus and listened to Scott Simon discuss his mother's death about nine months ago. Simon is that soothing voice that many listen to on Saturday mornings on NPR. He's the host of Weekend Edition where he melds news, stories, interviews and commentary about everything from music, family and dance to war, peace and the state of the world in general. He's also an author and journalist and seems to do both of those things well.

Last night's discussion, as I said, focused on his mother's death which occured fairly quickly after she had been admitted to a hospital for respiratory issues. Over a period of two weeks or so, as he stayed at his mother's side, he used the social media platform Twitter to record what was taking place or to send messages about his mother out into twitter land and his thousands of followers. For those of you who don't know, Twitter limits each message to 140 characters so you have to organize your thoughts concisely. Initially I thought this whole idea was a bit morbid but over the course of an hour Mr. Simon convinced me that it was a good thing to do, at least for him.

His talk, as did his tweets, covered a range of topics. Obviously deep and caring relationships but other things that we sometimes don't talk about enough - Dying itself, along with healthcare, how the elderly are sometimes treated in the last stages of life, not getting or having good information about what's happening to you or your loved one. He also talked a great deal about nurses and the care they provide to the sick, the dying and families. A recognition that anyone who has experienced serious illness or the death of a loved one understands immediately.

Mr. Simon had a great love for his mother and is still impacted by her death. He said at one point that after nine months he still wants to pick up the phone to give her a call. He wondered out loud if he will always want to do that? He will I'm sure. My father died 16 years ago. We would talk on the phone every Sunday for many years. The calls were usually initiated by me but sometimes he beat me to it. I can attest to Mr. Simon that the urge to make that call still exists so many years later and I know I'm not alone in experiencing that kind of urge.

We learned a lot about Mr. Simon's mother during that talk. She was "an old showgirl", his words, not mine, and she had vim and vigor right up to the last few days of her life. She cared about the people caring for her and wanted her son to spend more time with his family, etc. She sounded like a pretty amazing lady but then most mothers are.

Intertwined in his talk were thoughts about journalism, social media, the relationship between writers and readers and of course some pondering about the questions that began this piece. Simon is writing a book about his mother and about the expierience of spending that time with her at the end of her life. It should be out later this year and I would bet will be a very good read. So keep your eye out and do some research if you want on Mr. Simon and his tweets. Oh and don't forget you can listen to him every Saturday morning on Weekend Edition.