Things I've Learned About Life

The recent passing of Jean Vanier, the founder of L'Arche, has helped me to reflect on two of the most important experiences of my life - time I spent as a young man at the Catholic Worker in New York City and the time I've spent working with and supporting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities at The Arc of Schuyler and other similar organizations.

Here's a quote from Vanier that may help in understanding the journey.

“Each human being, however small or weak, has something to bring to humanity. As we start to really get to know others, as we begin to listen to each other's stories, things begin to change. We begin the movement from exclusion to inclusion, from fear to trust, from closedness to openness, from judgment and prejudice to forgiveness and understanding. It is a movement of the heart.”

— Jean Vanier

Many people think that working with the poor, the down and out, the broken, is about helping, healing and fixing. That of course can be good but it can also be a selfish way of fulfilling one's own needs. Listening and getting to know someone and understanding their strengths and weaknesses, hopes and dreams is something very different.

The Catholic Worker helped me experience that important distinction. Living in community with people who had been challenged by everything life had to throw at them, cooking soup and preparing meals that were on this side of gourmet, brought me into an understanding of how we are all in this together. Violent outbursts, sporadic bouts that people had with alcohol, gathering spoiled or wasted food at markets and handing out clothing and shoes to people were all part of the process of getting to know people who would become friends and colleagues.

At the same time, the politics of our nation influenced and forced action. The war in Vietnam built and then raged. Protests took place between responsibilities at the soup kitchen. Sometimes, the new found friends, workers and fellow diners disagreed with the politics of the soup makers and arguments or silence ensued. But we all went on, sometimes along our own or different paths. Learning from each other along the way.

In a similar vein, I began working with people with physical, intellectual and developmental disabilities in the early 70's after an all expenses stint paid for by the US government. My work began at a time when helping and rehabilitating people with disabilities was still the main focus. Over time, again because of relationships with people, I began to think and act differently in relation to the people I was supporting. I'm proud to have been involved 'with' people rather than 'doing for' people, but it did take me some time to understand and evolve. We closed institutions together. We designed systems of support together. We started talking differently by using words and not acronyms. We fought the good fight together and kept learning along the way.

That all brings it back to Vanier's 'movement of the heart'. We are in his together. We all have our worth. We all should be included rather than excluded.